


The Assistant [A Bill Skarsgård Novel]

by ImaginationLane



Series: The Assistant Series [1]
Category: Bill Skarsgard - Fandom, Hemlock Grove, IT (2017)
Genre: Affairs, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Blackmail, Comfort/Angst, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, Drama, Drama & Romance, Erotica, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fanfiction, Humor, Invasion of Privacy, Manipulation, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Plot Twists, Romance, Scandal, Unresolved Emotional Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-14
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2019-03-04 16:47:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 34,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13368939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImaginationLane/pseuds/ImaginationLane
Summary: A night out on the town for a few drinks, was all I had signed up for. But in reality… I got way more than I had ever bargained for when my boss and close personal friend, Bill Skarsgard, asked me to join him during a wrap party that the crew was hosting that night. In hindsight, I should have seen this coming. After all, we were both having issues in our own respective relationships and for some reason, we had found it easier to just confide in each other – rather than in our own significant others. Yet in the end, do the reasons ever truly matter when you begin an affair with your friend who also happens to be your boss? I often ask myself just how selfish could we be; he and I? The answer is: we’re completely selfish and neither of us really cares if this secret burns us alive – because it’s within each other, that we have finally found the things we had been looking for the whole time…





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Alrighty, apparently I'm being told I need to place this on AO3 as well -- instead of just placing it on Tumblr and Wattpad lol. To reach me on Tumblr, just go to: https://imaginationlane.tumblr.com/
> 
> So here it is, the AO3 version. Enjoy.
> 
> [Author's Notes: Please ignore any typos, errors and so forth as I generally catch any that I miss – after publication. Therefore I'll fix them as time progresses.]

* * *

 

In the eyes of most people, my job isn’t all that difficult. Perhaps in a sense, they’re right – after all, I don’t have to do strong manual and physical labor and I basically get to travel the world at times when I’m needed. However, if there is one thing I have to do, it’s keeping up with the insanely hectic schedule of a well known actor. Unless you’ve ever tried to keep track of someone’s every step; you probably wouldn’t understand how fickle that can become when you’re the one who has to make sure everything runs smoothly so they can continue to look like a complete professional to the curiously inquisitive public eye.  

My boss, on the other hand, is  _anything_  but conventional. He’s pretty down to Earth, and for someone like me who doesn’t exactly live to do traditional standards – it works out  _amazingly_  for me. I do not believe for a single second I could have taken this job, for any other actor. To be honest, it was a saving grace to find him; both as a boss and now as a friend. It had been two years since he hired me on. Back in those days, his career was starting to pick up some slight momentum due in large part to being cast in a Netflix original show. It turned out, that Roman Godfrey fangirls were a force to be reckoned with, and they loved to promote him across their blogs and social media pages. Which honestly… Made my job a little bit easier. These days though, he’s concentrating more on his film work – and it’s a completely different ballgame. It’s more serious, time consuming and he’s determined to push himself with each new role. His work ethic is seriously impeccable and impressive; and it makes me proud to be his assistant. 

A stack of papers hitting my desk in his downtown Toronto holiday house that he’s been renting out for the past couple of months, startles me out of my daze.

“Watcha working on? More emails or fan letters?” 

Speak of the Devil, and he shall appear unto you… All six feet and four inches of him; with captivating green eyes, magnificent cheekbones and a strong jaw structure that should be illegal on any man. His plump lips were currently twisted into an all knowing smirk and his gorgeous chocolate colored hair made me only slightly curious as to what it would be like to run my hands through it at some point. I couldn’t lie, he was  _insanely attractive_  – and that made my job harder since his popularity was rising. That only meant one thing: fending off swarms of fangirls would probably be one of my next job descriptors. Especially after this new movie of his hits the market:  _IT._  The reboot of the iconic Stephen King classic horror film and television show.

 _Jesus, take the fucking wheel._  

So there’s only one question I know you could possibly be asking yourself at this point:  _who is my boss?_  Well, it was none other than up and coming actor  _Bill Skarsgard._  It turns out, he’s Swedish actor and model with a knack for picking less conventional (albeit at times controversial) roles, and going all out to ensure that he always left a hell of an impression on the audience; regardless of how big or small his role may be. 

“Good morning to you too,” I chuckled back lightly as I took a sip of my cranberry juice. He sent me a sly smirk; clearly understanding that he caught me staring off into space again. “If you must know, I’m actually reviewing over your contract for the second installment in the IT franchise. I’ve told you before Bill, you really should read over the fine print on these contracts.” 

“Ahh and my insufferable, pain-in-the-ass assistant is back to Earth, finally!” I simply threw him a stern sideways glance at the comment, before he continued. “Just so you know though, I’ve reviewed it already. On paper, it checks out. However, I pay you to be the one to tell me if I’ve missed anything,” he mumbled back as he leaned his thin frame over the desk and swiped my glass to take a sip. 

That ladies and gentlemen, was  _annoying_. The man couldn’t be bothered to get his own glass of juice; instead he constantly stole mine. But after a couple of years of him doing this – I was no longer surprised by it any more. 

Laughing lightly, I shook my head at him and turned my attention back to my laptop “You would be utterly lost if I didn’t find certain clauses within your contracts. Oh and your girlfriend called again this morning. She asked me to have you call her back as soon as possible. Is everything okay with her? She sounded very upset over the phone,” I observed casually, as I laid my glasses down on my keyboard and sat back in my chair. 

I knew all about his relationship with a beautiful fellow Swedish actress, and he knew all about my own three year relationship with my on again / off again boyfriend John; right now we were on again for the second time. Bill’s girlfriend was gorgeous and to be quite honest, it was intimidating – especially since at first she regarded me very carefully. It took a lunch chat for me to convince her that I wanted nothing more than to do my job; and keep things on a professional and friendly note with her boyfriend. After that, we were fine, but I never told Bill about that little lunch date either… It was probably for the best anyway. 

Bill let out a sigh, as he ran his right hand through his thick and wavy brown hair. “We had a fight last night over the phone.”

I looked up at him in wide eyed surprise and not really knowing what to say. Lately he had been on edge, and I figured it had to do with his hectic filming schedule. After all, we were filming what was potentially the biggest film that could make or break his entire career. The hype around this remake was utterly  _astounding_  and it was projected to be a smash at the box office. Keeping the media at bay and away from the areas in which we were shooting, was a top priority. But word had already saturated the media marketplace:  _Any photographer who could snap a photo of Bill as Pennywise on set or off, would be rewarded handsomely._  So this made my job as his assistant, much more stressful, as I had to work with studio executives who were on location to find creative ways to get him to and from set –  _without being seen_  while he was in character. I could only  _imagine_  what it was doing to him personally.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry Bill. Is there anything I can do?” I offered weakly. Truth be told, I had hopes that they both could handle this change in his career – but it didn’t look like they were handling things too well. Which ironically, made me feel bad for  _both of them._  

My own love life was at a stalemate as well; my boyfriend John was getting antsy about not being able to see me as often. Which lead to a few tiffs over Skype and Facetime. He had been pressuring me to quit lately, but I didn’t want to. I liked my job; loved it actually, and I took pride in my work with Bill. He truly understood my needs as an employee and empowered me to ask for those needs to be met – without hesitation. In return, I made sure he was always looking like an astute professional and helped him network his ass off by letting him know which people in the industry he should consider getting to know better. It’s not that he wasn’t already doing these things before I came along, mind you, but he was doing it even more so now and it was paying off if this new role was  _anything_  to go by.

“Nah, don’t worry about it. I’ll call her later; her and I need to cool down properly before speaking anyway. How are things going with John?” The question was simple. Yet the answer was  _anything_  but that. 

“He’s uh… He’s just being himself, as per usual. He’s working a lot, and missing me apparently.” I answered with a smile plastered onto my face, and diverting my attention back to my laptop.

He looked at me intensely for a few moments, and I could feel his eyes crawling over my face; almost as if he were trying to dissect my answer just from looking at me. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked me quietly, as he handed me back my glass of cranberry juice. I rolled my eyes and glanced at the glass as I took it from his hand.  _Of course_  he knew; he had an uncanny sort of talent for that – which at times, would unnerve me.

“Just… Stuff,” I shrugged before continuing to tap away on my laptop. I was truly unsure if I should even tell him about the fight John and I had; I didn’t want to worry him. 

He must have sensed my hesitation, because he clearly decided to just spill the beans on his issues first.

“She and I had a fight about the fact that she’s pissed because she feels that you get more of my time than she does,” he admitted quietly, as he sat down in the chair in front of my desk. 

“Um, I’m sorry?” I said back, clearly confused by the allegation. “I mean, I kinda have to see you on a daily basis, I’m your assistant after all.” I paused as I took the information in. “But to be fair, I can understand the frustration. John is getting upset too. Oddly enough, he wants me to come home… For good,” I whispered as I looked down at my desk. Bill’s eyes snapped up as soon as the words left my mouth. 

“He wants you to  _quit?_ ” 

I nodded slowly, unable to verbalize it. “That’s what our fight was about, I told him no. He then proceeded to tell me, that he thinks I’m cheating on him anyway and shit just blew the fuck up from there. We haven’t spoken in two days.”

“Jesus Christ Y/N, why didn’t you tell me? Wait, is he accusing you of cheating on him with  _me_  or something?” His demeanor had suddenly switched over into shock; and now, I felt like I shouldn’t have told him as I didn’t want him to worry unnecessarily. 

“Yes he did, but It’s fine. I told him that it was utterly ridiculous since you already have a girlfriend and I have him. We do not even look at each other in that sort of way. I’m not quitting either; I enjoy my career way too much. Besides, if left to your own devices, we both know your career will go up in flames without me around,” I laughed as I tried to shift gears from serious to light-hearted humor. To be fair, that’s how I dealt with awkward moments – like this one, for example. However Bill wasn’t having it. 

“He has a lot of nerve accusing you of cheating on him. Especially since he did it first and that’s the reason why you guys initially broke up the first time. I told you he was complete jackass.”

Bill wasn’t wrong about that. A year and a half into the relationship, I found out that John had a one night stand while I was in New York helping Bill prepare for interviews he had for the final season of Hemlock Grove. Needless to say, as soon as I found out, we broke up shortly thereafter. After a few months of him begging for forgiveness though, I took him back. At this point however, it was starting to cross my mind if I only took him back out of sheer loneliness. It didn’t mean that a part of me didn’t care about John; I did. Yet, whenever I thought about us taking the next step –  _something_  would always stop me in my tracks and I couldn’t put my finger on the reasons  _why_. It was like fear would grip my heart and cripple me to my core; I just couldn’t do it. If he asked me to marry him tomorrow, I wasn’t entirely positive that I could say  _yes_  to him. 

“Trust me, I’m well aware and quite angry about that accusation as well. I really shouldn’t have told you about this though. I don’t want you to worry Bill. He’s not going to be a problem nor will I ever allow it to interfere with my work or yours. You know that,” I vowed to him, sternly. I took my professional reputation seriously, and I wanted him to reassure him of that knowledge.

“I’m not really worried per se, however if this would have been sprung on me from out of nowhere – like reading some bullshit in a tabloid rag or the TMZ website, I would have been upset only because you didn’t feel it necessary to prepare me for it.” Truthfully, that was fair enough. He had a good point there. “I get it, he’s jealous. He has a beautiful girlfriend, that he’s even lucky to have a second chance with – therefore he’s seeing her boss as a potential threat. It’s just his jealousy talking, I’m not worried about it,” he responded nonchalantly. I, however, almost choked on my juice. Did he just say I was  _beautiful_? 

Turning slightly red at the compliment, I sent him a smile and tried to divert the attention back onto him. “Please don’t tell me you got the same lame ass cheating accusation too? I’m gonna feel some type of way if she really thinks that, because I’ve never been anything other than professional and albeit at times, friendly, with you.”

Bill ran both of his hands over his chiseled face. His long fingers doing an excellent job of covering his entire face from forehead to chin, as he began to chuckle to himself. As soon as he was done, he looked at me with a smirk and I knew.  _Of fucking course_   _she did._  Goddamnit, I thought that issue was dead with her? Apparently not.

“Right, so you got it too. Fucking Christ,” I mumbled back as I rolled my eyes and took another sip of my juice. 

“I need to get out and have a drink this weekend. It’s been awhile since I’ve been out and I need a breather away from the bullshit. Do you know of any good bars around the area, since you and the crew seem to go out a bit?” I asked, as I closed the lid to my laptop and sat back once more in my leather, office style swivel chair. 

Bill looked at me for a moment in shock. “You? Go out? Who are you and what have you done with the real Y/N?” 

“Ha ha, you’re an absolute comedian! Are you going to help me or not?” 

“Oh, I’ll do you one better – the crew and I are going out tonight after my final scene I have shoot this afternoon. Come with us,” he recommended as he sat up and looked me dead in the eye. His sea green eyes playfully locked into a stare with mine, as if challenging me to say no. 

I glanced back at him, critically; as if decisively trying to conclude if that were a good idea or not. Surely these people aren’t going to want his assistant hanging around while they all cut loose. “Would that be okay with them? Or will I expected to be the sober one to take care of everyone tonight? Honestly, I’m not in the mood to babysit on my time off – I really do need to relax Bill,” I whined halfheartedly. 

“Non-sense, of course you can come. I’ve been asked to bring you out by a few of the guys before, but I knew you would say no so I never asked. They want you to come with us – and on my word, you don’t have to babysit anyone tonight; not even me,” he answered as he leaned back in the chair and he gave me his signature, radiant smile.

Oh that wasn’t fair, he knew I couldn’t say no whenever he used that smile of his.  _Fucking cheater._  

“Fine! I’ll go! But stop using that smile to get me to do whatever you want me to do. It’s not fair and I’ve told you to knock it off a million times already!” 

He gave a soft laugh in response, “it was either that or the Pennywise smile.”

“I would have kicked your skinny ass so fast,” I warned him earnestly, as I shot him a glare. I was  _daring_  him to try it; he was far from stupid and he certainly knew how much I  _hated_  that creepy Pennywise smile of his.

Before I even knew it, he flashed me his infamous Penny smile and I was out of my chair stepping off to the left of my desk to get around it in order to reach him. Bill shot out of his chair quicker than a bullet from a gun, and gleefully made his way out the door.

“Be ready by nine, I’ll be back by to get you then!” He called out, as he swiftly dodged out of the doorway.

“You’re an asshole!”

If I thought his Pennywise smile was creepy, then absolutely  _nothing_  compared to that sinister fucking laugh he did for that character. That laugh always sent a shiver of fear running down my spine; regardless of the fact that I knew it was just coming from him.

He was going to pay for that… I would make certain of it.

* * *

Nine o’clock rolled around faster than I had anticipated, and luckily I was ready to go. My hair was curled into thick bouncy waves and my make-up was on point. I had been struggling privately during my off time for the past few weeks on nailing down the smokey eyed look with my eye shadow palette, and I was pleased to see that I had finally nailed it down with perfection. My lips were painted in my favorite color, and I picked out a short, black dress that fell to my mid thigh; it accented my bodily features perfectly. To top off the look, I was wearing my black peep toe pumps and I was feeling remarkably sexy. Not that I would be going out to pick up anyone in particular, mind you – however one thing I learned a long time ago, was that it’s okay to be in a relationship and still  _want to_   _feel_  sexy at times… Even if it’s just for yourself. Which in this case, it truly was.

In the back of my mind though, I wondered if this was even something I should be wearing – after all, my boyfriend and I were in a bit of a fight at the moment and this may only add fuel to that fire. Incredibly enough though, I was at a point of beyond caring. He had the  _audacity_  to accuse me of possibly cheating on him, simply because I didn’t let him have his way of talking me out of my job? No, he could go fuck himself at the moment and I would go out, look smoking hot and have some fun. Angrily, I shook my head free of all thoughts of my bone-headed boyfriend and snapped off the bathroom light as I went to wait in the kitchen with a glass of wine. 

I had managed to make it half way through my glass, when I heard the lock to the front door start to rattle. A moment later, Bill walked in looking like he just exited the front cover of a goddamn magazine.  _Jesus Christ._  He was wearing a black fitted suit jacket, with a white button up underneath; the first two buttons were enticingly undone. He was also wearing his fitted black slacks and black leather boots. His hair was parted off the right side of his face and I had to admit… He looked fucking  _spectacular_. His silver wrist watch gleamed in the light and everything about this man screamed that he was well put together.

“Well,” I began as I sat my glass back on the counter, “ I need to go back and change. Excuse me!” But before I could make it out of the room, he lightly gripped my arm and turned me back around. 

“I don’t fucking think so Y/N; you look  _positively stunning_  just the way you are. Now let’s go, everyone is waiting at the club and they’re excited that you’re finally coming out with us,” he assured me, one final time, before steering me closer towards the front door.

I managed to pick up my dark grey colored clutch that contained my ID and my credit cards – along with my jacket, and made it out the door. He already had a taxi waiting for the both of us, and he held open the door for me as I slipped into the backseat. 

As soon as he sat down beside me in the backseat and gave the address for the bar to the driver, I finally got a whiff of his cologne and I almost  _melted_  into my seat. It was  _Acqua Di Gio_  by Giorgio Armani, and I knew that because I had recommended it to him at one point in the past when he was looking through potential colognes to wear for an event.  _What the hell is wrong with me tonight?_  I normally didn’t become affected by him like this, much less even notice it; but for some reason,  _every single thing he did_  was having some sort of effect on me. I had firmly resolved in that moment, to stay as far away from him as possible and get hammered out of my mind – in order to avoid this unwarranted, albeit enticing, feeling he was invoking within me. Crossing my legs in the backseat, I stared out the window and remained quiet for the rest of the ride. Unfortunately for me though, I could see Bill’s reflection in the glass and he seemed to be eyeballing my legs with a smirk before turning his attention towards his window as well. 

Now that, was certainly very  _intriguing_. 

* * *

Ten minutes later, we arrived at a popular night club in downtown Toronto to see that it was completely packed outside. People were waiting in line to get in; all the while Bill simply offered his hand to me as I stepped out of the cab. 

Bill led us to the front where a couple of bouncers in suits were reviewing people who were trying to get in. Once he gave them his name, we were allowed in immediately as a short Hispanic man, lead us to the VIP section that was warded off for our party for the evening. “Please, enjoy yourselves. If you need anything, my name is Jorge and it would be a privilege to assist you both in any way that I can.” I smiled and nodded gratefully to him, as Bill shook his hand and thanked him for his assistance.

“Andy booked an entire part of the club for all of us this evening. He’s over the moon to be so close to finishing the project. I’ve wrapped up my part today; now he just has to finish with the kids and it’ll be over,” Bill explained as his hand slipped down to my lower back and he guided me inside to greet the rest of the crew. 

“Holy shit! Bill really did convince her to come on out here!” The booming voice of Andy Muschietti, the film’s director, came across the room as he stood up from his booth and greeted us. “Y/N, you look amazing. It’s rare to meet women who can show this one up, but of course, you managed to do it!” I politely laughed at the joke, as I searched around to see who else was attending the party tonight. Quite a bit of the crew and some of the adult cast members were in attendance. The drinks seemed to be flowing freely among most of those who were there, as Andy’s assistant Amanda came bounding towards us and enveloped me into a bone crushing hug.

“You came! Thank goodness you’re not leaving me here alone with all of these boys,” she had announced, clearly relieved to not be one of the only women at this party.

My smile lit up my face, as I was happy to have another girl to hang out with. Maybe now, I could firmly stay away from Bill and just concentrate on relaxing until it was time to go. Was his cologne getting even  _stronger?_ Jesus, I needed a drink.

“Hey Mandy, I need a shot of Jack and a whiskey sour. Think you could show me to the bar?” She gave me a saucy wink as she grabbed my hand, and we left the men behind to do their own thing. 

Amanda was one of the few people I managed to connect with on a personal level on this film project – outside of Bill and Andy. She had a delightfully sweet personality, with just a hint of trouble boiling below the surface. Her fair skin, dark colored eyes and auburn colored locks easily set her apart from the rest of the crew. She was our resident wild child. The woman was breathtaking without even trying. Part of me envied her; while the other half of me wouldn’t have a clue about what to do without her. She was the first person I called after my fight with John a couple of days ago, and she happily sat on the other line for just over two hours as I ranted, raved and even cried about the argument we had. I had no idea what I was about to do without her, because Bill and I would be leaving in a few days since his part in the movie was essentially over now. 

“Jesus Y/N, you look fucking phenomenal! And I see you took my tips on that smokey eye shadow look,” she boasted smugly as we reached the bar and began to order our drinks.  

“Honestly, I just need to feel good tonight, and you know why.” 

She sipped on her drink as we stood at the bar for a few moments. She threw me an all-knowing smirk, before arching her perfectly sharp eyebrow. 

“Oh  _yes,_  I’m quite familiar indeed. However, I’m just wondering how your boyfriend is going to handle it when you tell him you came out here looking hot enough to fuck with  _Mister Tall, Dark and Daddy Material_  over there,” she surmised as she sipped on her drink once again. “In the infamous words of Amanda Bynes:  _I’d let him murder my vagina._ ”

I nearly choked on my own cocktail, as I let out a bark of laughter. “Jesus fuck Mandy, are you drunk already?” 

It was no secret that Amanda thought my boss was a looker, to say the least. She always loved to gush about him to me privately; even trying her hardest to get me to do the same. If Bill were single, he would be in some serious trouble thanks to Mandy trying to get into his pants – than from any of his actual fangirls and that was a  _fact._  

“Listen girl, I don’t know how you haven’t tried to jump his bones already. I’ve told you before; I can tell by the way I catch him staring at you sometimes – if you gave that man an opening, he would take it in a heartbeat.” 

A sigh left my lips as I peered over my drink at her. “Down girl, he has a girlfriend; keep your panties on please. Also I have a boyfriend back at home, no matter how much he pisses me off – he’s still in the picture… For now at least.” 

“Yeah and him having a girlfriend isn’t exactly stopping him from staring at you like his favorite dessert at the moment,” she observed casually, whilst shooting a look over my head and up to the balcony that he was standing on. I gently peaked over my shoulder as I pretended to scan the room. I caught his hooded gaze almost immediately and I felt heat rise to my cheeks, before turning back to my friend. 

“Told you,” she giggled while she grabbed her shot off the bar. I laughed as well and picked up my own shot glass. Together, we downed them without a second thought. 

* * *

The night continued on, as Amanda and I alternated between taking shots, dancing and mingling with the rest of the cast and crew. We were having a blast and I felt more relaxed than I had in a long time. All the while though, I would occasionally glance over towards Bill just to make sure he was doing alright. If he were ready to go, then that meant my fun was over as he was my ride back to the vacation house. Luckily for me, he seemed to be pretty content to hang out with Andy and just have some drinks. If anything, he seemed to be watching me a lot more than usual, which begged the question of  _why?_  

Amanda decided to steer me away from a couple of older crew members who were getting a little too drunk and handsy with us; instead she brought us back over towards our bosses. “If we sit with them, no one is gonna fuck with us. They’re too terrified of getting fired.” I nodded in silent agreement and followed her back over towards their booth. 

“You ladies seem to be having all sorts of fun tonight!” Andy snickered as he moved aside to make room for Amanda. 

“We are actually, thank you for allowing me to come out with you guys tonight.” 

“Non-sense! You could have come out with us  _any_  time you wanted to Y/N, but you’re always so busy,” he paused as his brown eyes leveled with mine. “If you’re not careful girl, you’re gonna let life pass you by. Life is out here, be sure to actually live it sometime – okay?” 

A blush stained my cheeks as I shyly nodded at him in return. This seemed to have satisfied him as he turned his attention back to Amanda. Abruptly, I felt a hand land on my thigh, as Bill leaned over and whispered in my ear – his breath was hot against my skin, “having a good time?” 

Now call me crazy, but it felt like the temperature just went up ten extra degrees within that booth and I had all I could do not to shrug my jacket off of my body. 

“Yep, in fact I’m about to go to the bar again and get another drink. You want anything?”  _I had to get out of here._  Maybe it was the alcohol in my system, but his large hand splayed across my thigh, mixed with how fucking delicious he smelled, was turning over certain feelings and images in my mind – that I had  _no_  business even entertaining in the first place. 

It would probably make sense to chalk it up to the fact that I had been drinking, and it had been a few months since I had gotten laid. Either way, my rational side of my mind was screaming at me to get away from this situation before it had the potential to turn awkward – and fast. 

“Actually, allow me! It’s my turn to buy the drinks anyway. What do you ladies want?” Andy asked Mandy and I, as I sat there deflated.  _Well, there went that idea._  

Fuck chivalry. 

“Are you sure Andy? I could just go get it; it’s no problem!” I tried to offer once more, yet Andy was not having it as he waved me off and stood up to leave. 

“Nope, I’m good. What do you want?” 

“Oh! I want another Long Island!” Mandy squealed excitedly, as she was taking  _full advantage_  of the fact that she had the whole next day off. Andy just rolled his eyes and smirked at her answer. 

“Bill, Y/N what about you two.” 

“Y/N will have another Whiskey Sour and I’ll just have another beer. One of us has to be more sober at the end of the night,” he answered as he looked over at me and smirked. I held his gaze for a moment longer than I should have, before I turned back to Andy and nodded in agreement. 

Mandy on the other hand, was now giving Bill and I curious glances before standing up herself. “Hey Andy, why don’t I come with you and help you carry the drinks?” 

He raised an eyebrow at her offer, and held out his hand to her as he helped her out of the booth, “we’ll be back kids.” 

As soon as they were out of earshot, Bill leaned back in and whispered in my ear, “you’re not drunk are you? That would be a shame since that would mean that I’ll need to babysit you tonight.” There was something about the way he said that, that set me on  _edge._  I felt my stomach flutter at his words; his low sultry tone and his body being so close to my own – was making me feel warm and fuzzy. 

_I had to make this stop._

“I’m definitely not drunk; a slight buzz, maybe. But I’m  _well aware_  of  _everything_  that’s going on around me, I promise. Mandy however, is getting blitzed off her ass. You’ll want to watch her, she may try to hit on you at some point,” my giggle left my mouth before I could stop it, and I took a final sip from my now empty cocktail glass.

“Eh, I’m not worried about Mandy. I know she checks me out, but she’s respectful enough to not actually try anything,” his response was incredibly blasé, yet he didn’t know Mandy like  _I_  did.

“Oh if you only heard what she called you after we walked in tonight; you probably wouldn’t feel that way,” I teased back lightly as I turned my attention towards the dance floor. I watched the couples and girls all grinding against one another. 

“What did she call me?” Now  _he_  was interested. Too bad for Bill, I wouldn’t be selling out any trade secrets today…

“Nope, sorry. No can do. We live and die by the girl code, so you’ll just have to wonder what she really thinks of you,” I replied as I turned my attention back towards him and smirked. That was a  _big_   _fucking_   _mistake_. His eyes locked in with my own, and as he leaned closer towards my body – his hand on my thigh managed slip upwards ever so slightly. I let out a surprised gasp. 

 _Shit._  

Now it was his turn to look smug, as my sudden gasp gave away what kind of effect his actions were having on me. 

“If I wanted to do it, I could  _make_  you tell me; you know I could. It’s too bad you feel that way though, but if that’s how it is – I’ll respect that,” and suddenly, his hand was gone from my thigh and he was leaning back into his space in the booth. 

 _What the fuck?_  What was  _that_? 

Before I had a chance to say anything else, Andy and Amanda had returned with our drinks. Now I was left to squirm in my seat, as Andy set my glass in front of me and I eyeballed the drink closely. Without any hesitation, I downed the glass immediately and got up to leave. 

“Excuse me, I’m gonna go get something a little stronger. Thanks for the drink Andy.” With that, I made me way out of the booth and downstairs. 

Instead of going straight for the bar however, I turned to my left and went down the hallway leading towards the bathrooms. There was an unoccupied private bathroom off to my right and I went in and closed the door behind me. I needed a moment to catch my breath after what just took place. I had no idea what was going on, yet I figured it was probably just Bill trying to mess with me. He had been drinking a couple of beers after all, and maybe he was just being extra flirty? Yes, of course that was it. No big deal. I would just go have another drink and keep my distance from him for the rest of the evening. That would hopefully cool his jets for the night.

My relief away from the situation however, was short lived as the door to the bathroom opened up and Bill came strolling in; locking the door behind him. 

If you asked me what happened next, I couldn’t tell you other than he had my ass planted on top of the bathroom counter, with my legs locked around his waist and his lips were firmly planted upon mine. 

I would be lying if I said he wasn’t a great kisser – the truth was, he was bonified expert in the art of kissing and I was greedily taking every single bit of what he was giving. His tongue mingled with my own, and God forgive me, I never felt something so utterly hot in my life. Gone were my inhibitions, and in it’s place was a realization that I could spend  _hours_  just kissing this man. In the middle of our hot and impromptu make-out session though, it took a moment for me to register that his hand was slipping up my dress and playing with the front of my lacy black thong. Yet when it finally sank in on what he was doing – his long and nimble fingers pulled my panties to the side and he was sliding them teasingly against my slit. 

I broke our kiss as I threw my head back and let out a soft moan once the pad of his finger brushed against my swollen clit.

Lord help me, I knew should be stopping this.  _It wasn’t right._  He had someone back home and so did I. But the moment he pressed one long digit into my core, I was completely  _gone_. 

Every single facet of coherent thought had left my mind, and the only thing I could concentrate on was how fascinating his body felt against my own. Everything from his lips, to his breath on my face; even his hands… He had turned on something unconditionally primal within me and I didn’t want to let it go.  _I wanted him to continue to bring these feelings and urges out of me._  

A whine escaped my kiss swollen lips as my hips bucked against his hand; my eyes snapping forward and locking onto his. My hand was wrapped around the back of his neck as he pushed a second digit within my body and I let out a cry of sheer ecstasy. Suddenly, a renewed burst of energy hit me like a lighting bolt as my hands moved towards his belt buckle. After releasing it’s hold against his crisp designer pants, I didn’t even bother to unbutton them before I slipped one hand inside and felt his velvety smooth cock graze against my finger tips. He was instantly hard, hot and begging for my touch. I began to lightly jerk him off, before he pulled his own hand out of me and put on a show of licking his finger clean. 

_Fuck me…_

It finally dawned upon me in that moment;  _I didn’t stand a chance in hell against whatever this was._  I don’t think I ever truly did… 

“We’re leaving, now.  _The first time I fuck you,_  is not going to be in a bathroom of a club.” I almost came on the spot as he growled his declaration and his lips found mine, once more. I could taste myself on his tongue and I pulled my own hand out of his pants. He fixed his belt, as I slid my lacy thong back into place. Once we were both adjusted, he helped me off the sink and grabbed my hand; leading me out of the bathroom and eventually out of the club altogether. After we flagged down a nearby cab, he all but threw me into the backseat, while he barked out the address for the holiday house. Soon his attention was back on me, as he grabbed my face in his big hands and began to kiss me once again. 

Normally, I wouldn’t have allowed this to even happen – especially so publicly like in the backseat of this cab for instance; but at the moment, I didn’t care. Maybe the alcohol had lowered my inhibitions just enough to not care, but I knew in the back of my mind that I should certainly give a damn about this. If we weren’t careful, news of this incident could travel to our significant others and neither of us were clearly thinking about that. Hesitantly, I pulled away from him and softly placed a hand against his chest. 

“Don’t; just wait until we get back to the house.” My eyes drifted towards the cab driver who was low-key, trying to watch us in his rear view mirror. Bill finally noticed this as well, and nodded his agreement as we continued the drive to the house. That didn’t mean however, that he wasn’t above  _teasing_  me the whole way there. In fact, he managed to slip his hands back up skirt and toy with my dripping wet core once more. I had everything I could do to fight against letting a moan slip out of my mouth, and jumping him right there in that backseat. 

* * *

After what felt like an eternity, we conclusively arrived back at his vacation house. Bill threw a large bill at the cab driver, who simply nodded his head and waited for us to exit the cab. Once we were outside, he grabbed my hand and lead me into the house. I barely made it over the threshold of the door, before he slammed the door behind us and pinned me against the wall. 

I scarcely managed to rip my jacket from my body as his hands grabbed my face and brought my lips back to his. His kisses were an intoxicating expression of what was happening, and I was determined to give as good as I was getting. My left leg came up and wrapped itself around his hip bone as I began to grind myself against him. He let out another growl as he slammed me back against the wall once more and grabbed me by the backs of my thighs, hoisting me against his body.

Nothing about what was taking place, was pretty. It was hot, hungry, intense and even selfish in nature. We both were taking something from the other, and felt absolutely  _no_  remorse in the moment while doing it. Abruptly, my ass landed on the cold marble counter top within the kitchen and I let out an audible yelp. Bill pushed my body backwards in order to lay me flat against the surface, while he slipped away from my grasp long enough to slide my panties down my smooth legs. He took a moment to sniff them while eyes rolled into the back of his head, from there he proceeded to pocket them as if he were keeping a trophy of some sort. When his eyes opened up once more, they landed on my own as he smirked and pulled me by my legs to the edge of the kitchen counter. He spread me open as wide as he could, before ducking his head between my legs. I held my breathe as I felt his tongue take one long and luxuriously slow lick from the bottom of my opening up to the top. His wet muscle swirled around my clit teasingly, as I let out a relaxed sigh of contentment.  

"Holy shit,” I breathed out, as I could barely contain myself – I began to writhe and squirm against that cool counter top as he lavishly feasted on me like I was his last goddamn meal. I had to admit that there were a couple of times, late at night when it was just me and my favorite vibrating toy in my bed, that I fantasized about this very thing actually happening. In the same token, I also have to admit, that my fantasy never came close to the real fucking deal. As soon as he sucked my clit in-between his teeth and flicked his tongue against the bundle of nerves, I was on  _fire._  He slid two slim fingers into my opening and curled them upwards, which caused me to let out a scream.

“Fuck, don’t stop!”

My chest was heaving up and down, as my hands gripped my cloth covered breasts and my back arched off the counter. “So fucking sweet. God, I could eat this pretty little pussy all night.” My heart began to hammer wildly within my chest, as he continued to leave me a twitching mess on that counter top. I was getting so close to my impending orgasm that I could feel a delicious heat boiling within my blood, and it threatened to leave me in a complete blacked out oblivion right then and there.

“Are you gonna come for me?” His question was teasingly tantalizing, as he goaded me closer and closer towards the edge of the abyss. I let out a loud moan and suddenly his fingers were gone. Frustrated by the lack of sweet friction, my eyes snapped open as I sat up on the counter and glared at him.  _Was he trying to drive me to insanity?_  His lips may have verbalized absolutely nothing, but his smirk was telling me  _yes._

I then reached for his shirt and ripped it open as he proceeded to lift my dress above my head. My hands hurriedly reached for his belt once again, and as I pulled it open, he unbuttoned his pants for me while I shoved them down his legs. His left hand then shot out and gripped me by the neck as he slipped two fingers of his right hand, back within my soaked opening. My eyes slipped closed once more, as I heard him tisk at me.

“Open those sexy eyes beautiful,  _I wanna see you come._ ” 

As soon as the words left his mouth, my eyes opened and locked with his as he curled his fingers at just the right angle that made me cry out in a perfect release. His labored breath mingled with my own, as my body tightened around his intrusive hand. The moment he felt my muscles clamp down, he yanked them out and replaced these talented fingers of his with his cock instead. “ _Fuck…_  I knew taking you would be my undoing,” he mumbled against my lips as he kissed me again. Bill lifted me up from the counter, while I pulled my hips up and sank back down on him once more. He continued to kiss me deeply as he carried us into his bedroom. My hips were slowly rocking against his as he laid us down on the bed and proceeded to shift his position.

With one well placed thrust, he bottomed out within me and I let out a strangled gasp of unadulterated pleasure.

It started off agonizingly slow at first. His hips rocking into my own, as I could feel him burrowing deep within my body. Our lips never once stopping as we continued to kiss as if our very lives actually depended upon it. My nails ranking down his back, while he continued to thrust into me softly and my toes started to curl. His hand gripped the sheets next to my head, and he began to pick up the pace.

He sat up slightly, breaking our kiss as his hand reached for my throat once more. His long digits contoured with ease around my jaw and for a moment, I slipped his thumb into my mouth and began to teasingly suck on it. My hooded eyes staring into his own, as he bit his lip at the sight I played out for him.

“Fucking Christ Y/N,” he moaned as he slammed deep within me with a renewed vigor. 

He removed his thumb from my mouth, guiding his fingers back down to my throat; lightly squeezing as he continued to pump himself in and out. His grip on my throat only tightened as my eyes rolled into the back of my skull.

His thrusts were brutal and I welcomed it openly; spreading myself wider for him. His stamina on full display was mind blowing, and I wondered just how much more I could even take from him. My second orgasm came crashing into me out of nowhere, while I threw my head back and pushed my hips down onto him even further. My muscles tightened into a death grip as he let out a hiss, and rode out the shocks of my orgasm. As soon as I came down from my high, I opened my eyes and gave him a naughty little smile.

“My turn.”

I planted both feet on the mattress, and turned him over onto his back.

A devilish gleam appeared in my lust filled eyes as I slowly lowered my self down the length his tall body, and eyeballed his cock like it was about to become my favorite flavored lollipop. Without warning, I winked at him and slid my tongue from the base to the tip and swirled around his slit.

 _“Shiiiittt,”_  he whispered lightly as his hand reached down and balled a fist into my hair. I let out a light chuckle as I slowly lowered my lips over the thick head of his dick and swallowed him down as far as I could go. Luckily for me, my gag reflexes were almost non-existent, so I let out a content hum of satisfaction as I gradually lifted my head back up to the tip again. 

“Oh fuck no, you do  _not_  get to do  _that_  right now. Your pretty little mouth, is  _not_  where I planning on coming tonight,” he warned me sternly, as he yanked my mouth off of him and pulled me up flush against his lean and muscular body until I was hovering over him once again. Incoherent curses left my mouth, as I felt him impale me onto his swollen member.

“Ride me,” he commanded, as his hooded green eyes stared straight into my own while he bit his lip.

In that moment, all I wanted to do was just  _please_  him. 

I began by lifting myself up, and slowly bringing myself back down again. He may have not wanted me to tease him with my mouth – but I had other ways to make him  _beg_  for it. As soon as I sank back down again, I swiveled my hips in a counter clock wise motion before repeating the movements in an agonizingly slow pace.

“Goddammit you really are a fucking tease,” he huffed with an air frustration, as I started to find my rhythm and rock against his body. I said absolutely nothing in return, as I looked down at him and licked my lips; my body urging me on as he hit all the right spots within me. With his hands gripping my hips, he pulled me tighter against him. Sparks were igniting within my core, as I felt the onslaught of a third orgasm coming for me faster than a freight train. 

“Oh my god,” the moan left my lips just as I managed to let go and feel myself slump over and convulse on top of him. He didn’t stop though; Bill just lifted his own hips and continued to thrust deep, strong and fast as I rode the wave of yet another release. 

A moment later, he flipped me back over and settled himself between my thighs once more. I didn’t know how much more I had left, so I needed to make sure he got his and quickly. I pulled his head towards mine and kissed him deeply, as he continued to work towards his own release. Pulling his head back by his hair, I bit my lip and decided to really go for it. “Come for me, please?”

I licked his bottom lip and looked him in the eyes once more. While his cock felt absolutely amazing buried deep within my core, it was time to get him off. Truth be told, I wanted to see what he looked like at his absolute most vulnerable. I wanted to know what it was like to get him to a place beyond thought or reason; I wanted to feel him  _let go._

“Baby please, come for me,” the whine left my lips as a barely disguised moan, yet before I knew it he tugged my head backwards by my hair and let out an astonishingly sexy moan of his own. 

“You’re really fucking pushing it Y/N,” he whispered to me as his tongue slid up the left side of my neck. I locked my legs tighter around his hips as his thrusts grew more erratic by the second. My mind was swimming in a haze of bliss; yet all I wanted in that moment was to see him come.

“Oh God,” I sighed as I clinched around him even tighter than before; yet another orgasm just  _begging_  to be unleashed. 

“Fuck!” It was the last thing he managed to say as his hand let go of my hair, and I was able to watch his face contort into a beautiful picture of unfiltered ecstasy and gratification. Watching him let go was truly amazing. I felt him pulsating within my core, and it triggered my own final small release of the night. His movements slowed down to a complete stand still, as I continued to watch him come down from his high. His forehead leaned against my own, as I cupped his face in my hands and gave him one last lingering kiss.

Eventually, he rolled over towards the other side of his bed and we both were panting, trying our hardest to catch our breath.

Neither of us said a word; we didn’t have to.

That  _really_  just happened, and all I thought about as I slipped into the world of unconsciousness – was just how much I  _wanted_  it to happen again.

* * *

 


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Musical Inspiration: Eyes Closed by: Halsey
> 
> [Author's Notes: As always, please ignore any typos, errors and so forth as I generally catch any that I miss – after publication. Therefore I'll fix them as time progresses.]

Sunlight poured into the dark colored room through the partially opened curtains; begging me to open my eyes and join the living. Too bad for that stubborn sun though, I had no actual desire to do that at all. In fact, with the way I was feeling at the present moment, this sleep induced fog could drag me back down into another round of sweet unconsciousness as far as I was concerned. My throat was parched and my tongue felt like sand paper. The slight pulsating throb within my head made it feel a little heavier than normal; so if I had to wake up then all I wanted was something to eat, an ibuprofen tablet and tall glass of water. 

As I began to stir on the mattress, a paralyzing fear set in as I felt an arm tighten around my midsection. Immediately, my eyes snapped open and  _every_   _single memory_  from the night before came  _slamming_  into the forefront of my mind before I even had a  _chance_  to prepare for pure onslaught of it all. I suddenly remembered  _everything_ ; the club, drinking with Mandy, Bill’s hand on my thigh; even running off to that seedy little bathroom only to have him follow me and kiss me like he was trying to suck the very  _soul_  out of my body.

Then came the more explicit images; the ones where his hands ran across almost every inch of my skin and I brazenly enjoyed it. I even  _encouraged_  it! The even worse part came when I realized that I selfishly  _wanted him_   _to do it_   _again…_

_Fuck my life._

His girlfriend was going to  _kill_  me. There was absolutely  _no_  question about that; I knew full and well that she was either going to hunt me down or find some way to hurt me for this. However, I couldn’t blame her for feeling like that. After all, I  _did_  just screw  _her boyfriend_  after reassuring her that I wouldn’t essentially become a  _homewrecker._

John was going to hit the roof. I could feel the fear set in as I thought of every possible scenario imaginable, when it came to his reaction. It made me feel sick to my stomach, more so than I already was; just thinking about how he would react to the news. He would  _never_  forgive me for this, and I didn’t know if I even  _wanted_  him to. If anything, he would announce how much he ‘ _told me so’_  and proceed to shit talk me off to everyone we ever knew. 

_My God, what the hell have Bill and I done?_

In the back of my mind, I knew this would be my own downfall. It was possible I was being entirely  _too harsh_  on myself for this. It’s not like it was planned, and to me that mattered a little bit because the intent  _had not_  been there… But that wouldn’t matter to Bill’s girlfriend or even to my own boyfriend; not to mention that would be a terrible excuse either way. It would be better to offer no excuse at all, than a  _bad_  one.

_No I did this, and I have to accept the possible consequences of that if this were to ever get out._

A moment later I held my breath; praying to whatever God’s were listening as Bill began to shift in his sleep – hoping that he wouldn’t wake up just yet until I could get the hell  _out_  of this bedroom. Lady Luck was still apparently on my side as he just managed to turn over to the opposite end, which freed me to be able to slip from the bed unseen. 

I had to get out of this room,  _now_. However it was only in this moment that I realized that my dress wasn’t in the bedroom; it was still in the kitchen where Bill and I left it last night – when he ate my pussy like it was a 5 star cuisine prepared by Wolfgang Puck himself. Gritting my teeth together, I covered my breasts with my arms and quietly tip-toed out of the bedroom. After I made a mad dash to the kitchen and picked up my dress off the floor; I placed it over my naked and cold body and quickly made a bee-line towards the bathroom. As soon as I was in the safety of the bathroom, I silently closed the door behind me and slumped against it in an effort to calm my nerves. 

 _That was close, too close._  

I let out a sigh of relief, hoping that now that I wasn’t in his bed, I could get a moment to myself just to  _think_. 

Nevertheless; first I still needed brush my teeth and take a shower…

* * *

Once the faucet was spraying hot water, I stepped inside and drew the sliding glass door closed behind me. I drank in the welcome reprieve of standing underneath that small wall of water, and I realized I felt  _different_ ; as if I were  _changing_. According to some people withgood morals; good women did not do what I so  _readily_ did last night. They didn’t wantonly  _fuck_  their boss and good friend – behind their boyfriend’s backs. They didn’t  _fuck_  another woman’s partner, after trying to reassure her that _this_  wouldn’t even happen in the first place. Worst of all, they didn’t selfishly admit to themselves that they wanted to  _sleep with_   _him_  again; or that they wanted to see  _why_  this happened at all and  _where_ it could go from here. In the end anyone with a plethora of so-called common sense, decency and morals – knew it was  _stupid_  to feel that way; a complete fallacy within a  _ridiculously foolish_  fantasy. It was that knowledge that made me feel more than a twinge of guilt for what I had done. 

 _Bill was taken; as was I._  

People would be  _hurt_  through these selfish actions we’ve committed. Yet through that awareness, it didn’t make me want Bill  _any less_  either. There was  _something_ there with him, bubbling and churning beneath the surface. It had always  _been there_  – just simmering, but never openly acknowledged until now. It felt as if last night’s activities, were only the  _beginning_  of an eruption of emotions that I had  _long_  been burying deep within myself. I also wondered if it  _may_  even be the same for him.

While I continued to stand there, allowing the water to cascade over my body and the heat to radiate through my skin – I couldn’t help but flash back to last night: His bruising kiss on my lips; his tender and strong hands making me delirious with wild abandonment and desire. Bill’s body deliciously pushed against my own;  _punishing_  me in the  _best_  ways possible. 

I bit my lip and my body shook gingerly, as I pulled myself out of the memories.

Of course I found him  _attractive_ ; of course I  _liked_  him, who wouldn’t? I had gotten to know this man for a couple of years now while working for him, and he was an  _incredible_ person underneath it all. He was smart; driven, kind, talented as well as easy going; even funny and not to mention now – a  _magnificent_  lay. He was a total catch, and I knew it. All of that aside though, I also knew better than to even  _believe_  I had a right to think of him in that way; because neither one of us were available to each other. 

 _I have to stop thinking about this, or the confusion will drive me insane._   _It’s time to accept it, bury it and move on with my life._

_It was probably a one night thing for him anyway…_

Looking up towards the shower head, I let the sting of fresh warm water splash harshly against my face. Soon enough however, my thoughts were interrupted as I felt a pair of hands gently slide across my hips and a pair of lips land softly upon my neck.

Without even turning around, I knew it was him.

“You’re over thinking things again… Aren’t you?”

 _He knew._  

 _Of course he fucking knew._   _He always knew._

“We have to talk about last night Bill, but not in here.” I said as I extended my hand out to switch the nozzle to off. But before I could reach the faucet, his left hand was between my legs, as his right hand pulled me backwards by my hips – closer towards his body and I let out a gasp of unbridled arousal. I could feel his own need as it poked me ever so sternly on my lower back. 

_Someone certainly came in here with something in mind this morning, and it wasn’t talking…_

The digits on his left hand, lightly grazed the inside of my thigh as they traveled at an agonizingly slow pace up towards the juncture between my legs. My own hand slipped from the knob and slammed against the wall right beside me in an effort to brace myself and not lose my balance. 

“You were saying?” His question teasingly light as he breathed it into my ear, almost as if he were amused and mocking me. 

My body flushed with pure desire, while I tried to gain my control back.

“We can’t do this Bill… It’s wrong,” in that particular second, I was proud of myself for  _managing_  to spit out this rational thought before it had slipped my mind – once again.

Bill on the other hand, was clearly  _not_  ready to give up his new found control just yet. 

“Mmhmm, what about it? Is that why you’re trying to fight against this?  _Against me?_ ”

My head tilted backwards against his shoulder, while my eyes rolled into the back of my head. His skilled fingers were softly playing with my folds, and I felt myself  _losing_  this battle yet again. His right hand trailed up my body and had begun to lightly play with my breasts; ever so subtly sliding against the peaks.

“You’re not playing fair,” I whispered, as I felt my body betray me and relax into his touch. 

“When it comes to you, I do  _not_  plan on playing fair. I’ve waited entirely  _too long_ , to play fair or even by the fucking rules at this point…” His words trailed off as soon as his lips found a particularly sensitive spot on my neck.

In no time at all, he had finally pressed the pad of his finger against my sensitive clit as I let out a needy little whine and arched into him. I could feel the vibrations of his silent laughter against my back, while I reached my hand up to grab his wet silky hair and pull his lips towards my own. 

Our kiss was slow, lazy and full of steam while his hands teasingly enticed me even  _more;_ almost as if  _daring_  me not to come on his hand. I felt the flutter as my heart beat began to pick up the pace and a relaxing warmth soon spread throughout my body. 

“You’re so responsive; Christ it’s beautiful,” he mused quietly. He behaved as if he were utterly  _captivated_  by every single reaction my body willingly gave him. 

Unable to take it anymore, I turned back to face him, as his hands tangled deep within my hair and held my head impossibly close to his. His eyes, almost burning holes deep into my soul.

“Tell me you want me this and it’s  _yours_ ,” he promised, as I felt my knees slightly buckle with need.

Ironically I felt it when it happened – the very second I drew a hard line in the sand… It was one I knew I would  _never_  be able to come back from: I was not going to feel bad for this.  _I wanted it_ ; I wanted  _him_  and I was _sick and tired_  of playing things safe. I didn’t want to play by any of the rules any more. I wanted to be  _selfish_ , I wanted to  _indulge_  myself in the fucked up, twisted fantasy he and I had started to build together. He brought out this  _new side_  of me and I didn’t care how much it would cost me in the end – I would easily pay the price and wear the scarlet letter, than to live  _without him_. 

“You’re going to  _ruin_  me, and goddammit… I want you to do it.  _Ruin me_ ,” I pulled his lips to my own. No more words were needed, as I just surrendered myself to the fire and allowed myself to be  _consumed alive_.

His hands slipped underneath my thighs and lifted me up to his waist as he slipped inside my body with ease. I broke our kiss in order to look into his eyes once again, and let out a breathy moan. His eyes locking with my own; our foreheads pushed together and our breath’s mingled as he began to move and pin me against the wall of the shower. 

His arms flexed as my hands drifted carelessly up towards his shoulders. My dainty digits pressing into his skin, as he worked me into an beautiful downward spiral of bliss and relief. 

I didn’t want to think, I just want to feel. So that’s  _exactly_  what I allowed him to do to me.

We knew, within that moment,  _nothing_  about our arrangement would ever be the same again. He and I somehow crossed into this new and unfamiliar territory of lovers, and I was now  _dreading_  the fact that we were going to be leaving this private getaway in a few days.

* * *

An hour later, we were laying in his bed wrapped in each other. His fingers were drawing invisible patterns along my spine and once in a while – it would cause me to giggle. 

“You’re ticklish,” he observed with a smirk.

“I am, but if you even  _think_  of trying to tickle me I will hurt you.” 

“Oh now you fucked up, I know your weakness and I will use it eventually,” he warned with a chuckle.

“Try me asshole; see how far it gets you,” I laughed, as I sat up in the bed and went to get up. 

“I’m going to have a smoke,” my announcement, was more of an invitation for him to join me outside if he wished. 

While I certainly wanted to spend the day in bed with him, there were tasks I needed to get done for the day. I still had emails to check, flight and travel itineraries to review for both of us; as well as the fact that I needed to start packing my own things. 

“Alright, I’ll be out in a second. I just want to relax for a moment,” he said with a small hint of amusement in his voice.

He looked incredibly sexy laying there in that bed, propped against the headboard. His chest bare, hair a mess, and looking absolutely beautiful. I didn’t understand how this man was even attracted to me, but I wasn’t about to deny this surprising little gift either.

“Fine, be lazy. But I have things to do today and I’m starving. I can’t just survive on dick,” I shrugged innocently, as I threw on one of his shirts I found in a dresser drawer while he chuckled at my joke.

He watched me as I walked over towards his bedroom door, and looked back at him expectantly. I couldn’t quite place the look in his eyes, but it was a mixture between enjoyment and something else. Shaking my head and biting my lip, I skipped out the door and went to my own room in order to change and grab my cigarette pack. 

Once I had cleaned up and gotten dressed, a little white oval pill compact sitting on my vanity set had caught my attention. It was almost time to take my birth control pill, so I went ahead and grabbed the pack. After I popped the tiny pill out of the foil, I tossed it within my mouth and dry swallowed. I normally hated doing that, however after everything that had transpired within the last twelve or so hours – I wasn’t about to complain either.

* * *

The mid-afternoon sun was high in the air, and the temperature was mild as I sat outside on the tiny patio that the holiday house provided. Summer was an amazing time of year in Toronto and I was going to miss this. New York would be unbearably hot, so this chance to simply be away from it all – was nice. Bill would be going back to Sweden for a couple of weeks, and I did worry about how things would be like while he was overseas. I had met his siblings over the years, particularly the actors within the family; so I knew how tight knit they were with each other. I also knew how much he missed spending time with them and just being himself for a change. 

My laptop made a dinging noise as it notified me of a new email. I had been waiting for some emails, from a couple of the studio executives, about when Bill needed to come in and do voice over work for the Pennywise character – in Los Angeles. It looks like I may have  _finally_  gotten those dates… 

He may have been through with the actual filming part of his job, but there was still quite a bit of voice over work to be completed; so I needed to be sure I had every schedule done in advance. 

As I was working my way through the emails, my iPhone started to ring. Without even looking at the caller ID, I picked it up.

“Y/N speaking,” I answered curtly, hoping to hurry along whoever had called. 

“Well that’s a hell of a way to greet your boyfriend.” 

My heart sank to my very feet, and I almost dropped my laptop to the ground. 

_John._

“Oh hi, yeah I’m sorry. I’m trying to handle up on some emails. You know how I can be once I’m in my work groove,” I responded back half-heartedly. 

“Yeah, I get it. I’ve been swamped at the office for the past couple of days, so I’m sorry I haven’t called.” 

I bit my tongue at that, we both knew that was a  _lie_. The actual reason why neither of us had called the other, was because of our massive argument from the other night. 

“How’s Toronto? Are you ready to come home?”

I could tell by the tone of his voice, he was trying to feel me out to see if I had either any cracks within my armor or if I was still pissed at him. Truth be told, I just didn’t want to deal with him at the moment. Dealing with him, was dealing with reality – and that reality was  _not_ fucking pretty. A part of me started to feel bad, while the other half of me wanted to tell him to fuck off. However the slightly guilty feelings won out for now, and I sighed into the phone before answering him…

“It’s nice up here, you probably would have liked it. As for coming home, I’ll be there in a few days. That hasn’t changed John, I’ll be back on the twenty-sixth.” 

He paused briefly as he absorbed my words. 

“Look Y/N, about our discussion a few days ago -” Yet before he could finish what he was about to say, I cut him off.

“You mean our  _fight_? You know, the one where the moment you didn’t get your way, you accused me of doing something I hadn’t done… Like a complete asshole? You’re talking about that so-called  _‘discussion,’_  right?” I was in no mood for juvenile games. And while I  _technically_  had  _no right_  to be mad anymore since I  _did_  live up to his accusation later on; I was still miffed at the fact that I had even been accused of it in the first place – when I had been nothing but loyal to him up until that point. 

“Okay, I probably deserve that…” 

“ _Probably?_  The fact that you even used that word lets me know that you still have learned nothing – going on three days later!” 

And there it was, the moment I really did become  _angry_. He did this every single time, and it wasn’t the first time within three years that he had accused me of it.

“What has gotten into you Y/N? I’m calling to apologize and you’re just snapping my head off and being incredibly rude,” John exclaimed. He was certainly in disbelief that I would actually hold him accountable this time. Maybe that was my fault; after all, I had unintentionally allowed him to get away with these things for years now with the idea of keeping the peace. Things I shouldn’t have tolerated in the first place. 

Mentally, I couldn’t help but start drawing a list of pros and cons between him and Bill. 

First on the con’s list for John:  _Talking to me like an asshole, and expecting me to just be okay with it._  

“John, I’m not going to fight with you about this subject anymore! I’m saying my piece now: you accused me of hurtful things for a number of occasions through-out our  _entire_  relationship, when I had been nothing but loyal to you. It’s a problem; plus it’s an even bigger problem that you don’t see the pattern. You’ve got  _a lot_  of nerve coming for me, when  _you’re_  the one who fucked someone else and didn’t even bother to catch her name before sticking your dick in her. Also,” I paused momentarily just to take a breath. “What’s the real reason you want me to quit? You  _still_  won’t tell me. You say you want us to  _‘build a future together,’_ but you’ve been so secretive lately. Now you want me to just up, quit my job and leave it all behind – without even giving me a solid reason as to  _why_? That’s not suspect,” I replied sarcastically. “That’s not suspect  _at all!_ ”

By the time I had finished my rant, I was heated.  _Fuck him and his high horse he rode in on._  I was starting to lose some of those slightly guilty feelings I had for sleeping with Bill behind his back, at this point. John had it coming. Two wrongs may not make it right, and that’s fine, but dammit I was feeling  _petty_  and wanted to see him grovel for a while. Alas, grovelling wasn’t what I got; in fact what I received instead was him telling me that he would ‘call me back when I wasn’t acting so immature and childish,’ while hanging up on me.

I strongly contemplated chucking my phone, but decided against it. Days like this, were becoming more common place between he and I. It was getting unhealthy, and I couldn’t help but wonder when it hadn’t gotten this bad between us. There was a time I loved him,  _unconditionally_. A time where he was sweet, caring and put others over himself. It all changed though when I was hired on as Bill’s assistant and he became a firm partner for one of New York’s biggest law firms. We spent more and more time apart, and I held on to a dream that would never come true.  _We had both changed,_  and admittedly – not for the better in some ways. I couldn’t live like this anymore, nor should he. 

I turned my phone over in my hands, as I dialed his number once again. It rang several times before he finally picked up.

“Have you calmed down now?” 

This time, I just laughed at his amusing little greeting for me.

“Oh I’ve calmed down alright; you better have your shit out of my condo before I’m back in the next few days. We’re  _done_. Now get out of my house and have a good life. I’ll be changing the locks when I get back.” 

With that, I hung up on him and turned to go back inside the house. Instead what I was greeted with, was a shirtless Bill and a highly impressed Mandy both standing in the doorway smirking at me. 

“ _Oh shit_ , how much of that did you guys hear?” 

“Enough.” Mandy said back in her sly tone, that told me she heard the whole thing. 

 _Well, there goes keeping that one to myself…_  

“Wait a minute, when did you get here?” I asked her as I looked towards Bill quizzically. 

“Um I’ve been texting you all morning and some this afternoon; I told you I was stopping by. Besides, I figured you could use a girls lunch and from the looks of things – I couldn’t have arrived at a better time if I tried. I am so fucking proud of you!” As soon as the words left her dark red lips, she had embraced me in a tight hug and not letting me go. 

“Finally, at least someone around here is getting their shit together. Now if you ladies will excuse me; my own girlfriend is calling,” Bill said as he excused himself, and went back inside.

I couldn’t tell you why, but I felt a strange  _pang_  from hearing that – but I shook it off and faced Mandy once again.

“It’s  _amazing_  what good dick can do for you,” she mumbled to me quietly as she threw me an all-knowing glance.

“Excuse me?” 

_She couldn’t possibly know… There was no way._

“You heard me Y/N. I know for a fact that you fucked Bill last night; and before you leave, we need to have a  _very serious_  talk about the fact that you two almost got caught by Andy and I – while you guys were doing  _God only knows_ _what_  in that bathroom.” 

 _Oh shit._  

_I am so fucked._

* * *

 


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Warning: This chapter contains usage of what could be considered as sexually derogatory terms, during a sexual encounter. While it's entirely consensual between the adult characters in this story, please note that if these terms are offensive for you -- you may want to skip the second half of this chapter. Thanks!]
> 
> Musical Inspiration: Hotter Than Hell by: Dua Lipa
> 
> [Author's Notes: As always, please ignore any typos, errors and so forth as I generally catch any that I miss – after publication. Therefore I'll fix them as time progresses.]

* * *

 

It was the noise of the bustling city that greeted Mandy and I, as we stepped out of her car and walked into the tiny café that we had escaped to numerous times over the past few months. Whenever we needed a place to relax without our bosses finding us, this is exactly where we would come to hide.  _Strange Love Café_ , in downtown Toronto, became our little sanctuary away from the everyday mundane routines that set life and demanding schedules seemingly produced on a daily basis.

The café was quaint and presented itself in a clean modern style, with a slight rustic twist. With it's raised pure white walls, slightly ash colored wooden floors and a beautifully decorated inside; aesthetically, it was quite cozy and stylish. Upon entering it though, I realized just how much I was going to  _miss it_  when I left in a couple of days. They always offered the most scrumptious pastry treats and of course, I absolutely _lived_  for my coffee and tea; which they accommodated me with -- daily. There was no question that New York had some of the best cafe's and restaurants in the world; but there was something about  _Strange Love Café_  that made me feel right at home.

After placing our orders at the counter, we decided to pick a place in the back in order to sit down and talk, while having a little bit of seclusion as well. Luckily, they weren't too busy today and no one was sitting in the back, so I felt slightly more comfortable continuing my conversation with Mandy in complete privacy. Ironically enough, Mandy and I didn't speak a word about this in the car. Perhaps she was trying to give me time to adjust to the news that she knew about what happened that night; in which case, I was silently thankful for her giving me to opportunity to absorb the shock first. As she took a sip of her latte, she scanned the room in order to ensure that we wouldn't be overheard by anyone. The last thing, either of us really needed, was to have this conversation go public because a random passerby overheard us talking.

"I'm genuinely curious as to how this happened. I mean; I had a strong feeling that he may have wanted you in some way -- but I'm not sure if I was truly expecting this," Mandy started off honestly. 

I had to admit, it was a bit of a shock, even for me. I had went out with him, and everyone else by extension, in order to unwind.  _I never imagined_  that at the end of that night, I would be having some of the best sexual experiences of my life -- with him of all people.

"Well, your guess is as good as mine at this point. I mean," I paused as I felt myself let out a strained puff of air before continuing. "I went out to relax with everyone -- I  _never_  thought that everything I did in the last 24 hours, would transpire. Not in a million years." 

Amanda just nodded her head as a quirky little smirk slowly spread across her face, " _I knew_  you thought he was cute too! All of that  _bullshit_  about how he was just your friend; how you both had someone in your lives...  _I knew it!_ "

I let out a gentle laugh as I turned my gaze out the window.

"So how do you feel about it?" 

_Isn't that the million dollar question of the day..._

"I don't know. Part of me does feel bad because of certain aspects within it all. The timing is  _horrendous_ , and I kind of hate myself for enabling this to happen because he  _does_  have a girlfriend back home. No matter what's going on with them; she still doesn't deserve that. I also hate myself for living up to my now ex-boyfriend's accusations -- but the other half of me? Doesn't exactly regret it either because  _I do like him,_  which is incredibly idiotic of me given the fact that he has a girlfriend," I admitted as I took another sip of my drink. "That probably makes me an incredibly shitty and selfish person." 

Mandy just took it all in, without making me feel judged and thinking about what I had just told her.

"First of all, you're not a shitty person Y/N. On the surface, yes it kinda  _does_  sound bad. But underneath it all and because I know you better than most -- no.  _You're not a shitty person._  It happened, and you're  _not the only one_  who jumped into this;  _he did too._  If it ever came out, which for both of your sakes I truly hope it  _doesn't,_  then he has to share in those repercussions as well. It's not just on you," she told me as she reached over to place her hand on my wrist, giving me a comforting squeeze of reassurance. 

My eyes met hers as I just smiled and looked back down at my drink.

"As for timing, girl it's life! Most things seem to happen at the absolute  _worst_  possible time. For example, I have come the  _frightening and startling_ realization that I might actually  _like_  Andy." 

Part of me, was secretly jealous of how Amanda always just seemed to be so  _centered_  with herself. If she knew something, she accepted it with ease. Me, on the other hand -- I usually had a mild heart attack if it were anything out of the ordinary. She had a better grip on herself than most people I knew at our age; nor did I even remotely understand how she got to this place of understanding within her life. I couldn't even decide on which entrée I wanted for lunch that day -- let alone have a grip on my own private life.

"Wait...  _You like him?_  I suspected it, but you were always so careful! What gives?" 

She chuckled at my obvious excitement about this new information, while shaking her head.

"Oh I'll get to that, but first... I want to know when this thing, whatever it is, between yourself and  _Mister Tall, Dark and Daddy Material_  -- started happening." 

"I swear one of these days Mandy, he's going to catch you calling him that," I laughed lightly, as I sipped on my drink once more.

"Lord,  _I hope so,_ " she mumbled back with a chuckle of her own. 

Taking a deep breath, I gave her a whimsical smile as I looked down at the table for a moment -- before returning my attention back to the conversation at hand. "Honestly, nothing actually happened until last night when we were at the club. In fact I really had  _no idea_  that he even looked at me in a physical sense, until well... He made his move." I then proceeded to explain out the events leading up to what transpired in the bathroom. As I sussed out the details, Mandy just sat back patiently in her chair, nodding along and listening intently. It was almost therapeutic to get everything out onto the proverbial table; I had needed to talk about this even more than I had realized.

"Well," she began softly, "that explains why you practically  _ran_  out of the VIP booth once Andy and I returned with the drinks," she finished as she took a bite of her raspberry roll.

"I don't know how it happened, one moment I was in the bathroom alone -- the next he had me on the counter making out with me, and manipulating my body in ways I didn't realize were fucking  _possible._ " 

Amanda giggled lightly, "oh boy don't I know it. Just so you know though, you have pornstar moaning abilities. I'm kind of jealous!" She sarcastically complimented me while my face turned beet red, and I began to feel utterly  _mortified._

"How much did you and Andy overhear?" I questioned fearfully. 

"Well to be fair, I believe I heard more than he did since he came down the stairs looking for me after I ran out to check on you. Yet, I know for a  _fact_  that he heard one of your moans as I was trying to steer him away from the bathroom," she noted to me in a more serious tone. 

" _Fuck_ ; is he going to say anything?" 

"Who Andy?  _God no!_  Honestly he's been ragging on Bill for catching him staring at you whenever you're not looking. Andy isn't going to say anything;  _trust me_  on that one!" Mandy assured me with conviction in her voice. 

"So what gives?"

Mandy took a quick peak around before redirecting her focus back on me.

"He's worried about how you and Bill are both doing this. It's no secret that Bill isn't single, and before today, neither were you. Are you both planning to leave your significant others and get together finally?" 

While it was a simple question, it was  _anything_  but that. The truth was:  _I didn't exactly know._  It would make sense; if we planned to continue to sleep together -- then we needed to let go of the other people we had in our lives in order to not hurt them any further. That would be the  _healthiest_  thing to do,  _right?_  Well unfortunately, while I knew Bill may want to indulge in  _whatever the hell this was_  for now -- I wasn't entirely too sure for how long he may want to do so.

"It's complicated. I'm not sure if this will even continue once we leave here in a couple of days. For all I know, this could be a one time fling." I shrugged, trying not to show how much my lack of answers had affected me. 

Amanda's eyes almost bulged out of their sockets, while she struggled not to choke on her latte.

"Y/N..."

"Don't Mandy, please --"

"You're walking a dangerous line here! Has Bill even said anything to you?" 

It was hard to make Mandy feel scandalized, yet apparently I managed to do just that.

"We kinda both admitted to each other this morning that we just want to see where this goes; that we both want this." I offered weakly, as I took another swig of my drink.

"Jesus Y/N," she breathed softly, before turning her attention back towards me. "I hope you know what you're doing. You deserve more than to be a fucking  _side piece;_  maybe Bill needs to be reminded of that..." She surmised quietly. 

"To be fair, Mandy, _anything_  is possible at this point. I think all either of us knows is that we just  _enjoy_  the time we're spending together.  _That's it._ I don't believe either of us wants to complicate this and potentially  _ruin it_  -- just yet. Besides, what if I'm right?  _What if it's just a one time thing and we just go back to normal after we leave here?_  I mean, he may get back to Sweden; realizing how much he's missed her and this whole thing will be a secret of his past. I may get back to New York, meet someone who's actually  _available_  for me and move on! It's possible."

Tilting her head to the side, she thought about my points for a moment.

"What about John? You don't think he's just going to  _give up_  and walk out of the picture so easily -- do you?" 

That, was something I definitely hadn't considered but should have. He most certainly may try to worm his way back in; yet regardless of what happened between Bill and I -- I wouldn't allow it. It was time for the both of us to let go and  _move on._  We're not healthy for each other anymore. In all fairness though, if the last twenty four hours were anything to go by -- I wasn't exactly moving onto something in a more healthy way either. Bill and I basically hooked up with each other,  _while we were in relationships._  If that doesn't scream unhealthy, I don't know what does. Whatever  _this_  was, it was already starting off on a bad foot and more importantly...  _A lie._

"Actually no, I'm not worried about John.  _I don't want him back._  I was  _already_  contemplating this prior to what happened last night; even  _you_  know that."

"I do," she agreed. "But that's _not_  what I meant either. I mean,  _do you really see John letting go of you so easily?_  When you dumped him last time for cheating on you, he pestered and hounded you for months; persisting until you caved and took him back. It's not  _you_  I'm too worried about on that aspect;  _it's John himself._ " 

She did have a point there. John did have a history of begging for me back, but right now it was truly too soon to tell if it would be the same this time around.

"We'll see once I'm back in New York. In the meantime though, Mandy... I just want to  _enjoy_ the time that I do have with Bill. If it's not meant to last beyond these fleeting moments here --  _so be it._  If I were smart, I'd go ahead and draft up a letter of resignation and get my resume ready to be honest." 

"You should," she announced as she took another bite of her roll. "But you're not going to, because we both know you like him too much to let go just yet."

I said nothing as I looked down at my pastry and proceeded to pick it apart. I knew she was right; what could I say to that?

"Enough of the heavy; whatever this is, I'll figure it out with time." 

Taking a bite of my snack, I looked over at Mandy and gave her a smirk.

"Tell me more about when you  _finally_  realized that you liked Andy," I suggested as I changed the subject with ease.

She gave me a smile before answering me. "Fine I'll tell you; just promise me something okay?"

"Anything," I said back confidently.

"You'll be careful. Do not let  _anyone,_  no matter  _who_  it is; ever get the best of you without earning it."

I allowed her words to soak in for a moment as I contemplated them. I had to look out for me; and that's ultimately what she wanted me to do -- protect myself.

_"I promise."_

* * *

I had been busying myself around the kitchen. As the day was drawing to a close, I hadn't seen Bill since I had returned back to the vacation house; but I decided to prepare extra dinner just in case he decided to return -- after I was finished. After preparing a light salad, I stuck it back into the refrigerator then I reached for the salmon that was wrapped snugly within the white wax paper. Opening the overhead cabinet, I pulled out the glass bottle of extra virgin olive oil and prepared my skillet. Cooking always set my mind at ease, and after the revelations I shared with Mandy today -- I truly needed a few moments to just catch my breath and have a second to  _myself._

The water within the vegetable steamer had started to boil; signaling the need for me to add in the broccoli. As soon as that task was completed, I reached over towards my phone and decided on trying to find a quick and easy type of sauce to make for the salmon. A simple search through Google, allowed me to find a recipe in order to whip up a succulent sauce within no time at all. Checking on the salmon strips over in the pan, I was happy to see them turning a nice light golden brown color on the bottom -- as I continued to put away the rest of the excess ingredients I no longer had use for. At this time, I decided to quickly dash to the wine cellar and pair the dish with a subtle red wine. Upon returning to the kitchen, I realized that the broccoli and the salmon were both done and it was time to start letting them cool -- in order to plate them properly.

With the cooking out of the way, I was humming and swaying happily along with the beat of the song that I had playing in the kitchen. Taking a quick peak at the bar where I normally ate, I wrinkled my nose in disgust; eating alone just wouldn't do. So I️ pulled out the silverware and started to actually set the table properly. Wherever Bill was, he would probably be back soon as he didn't like to be out too late these days; especially since he was getting ready to head back to Sweden -- so I knew he wanted to finish packing up properly. After setting out the plated food in the middle of the table along with each individual plate, along with a smaller plate for the salads, and the silverware -- I stood back and admired my handiwork. It was actually  _cute_  and I was kind of proud at myself for it. I had been bugging Bill to let me cook salmon in the house all summer, now I finally had a reason to do it; the asshole  _couldn't_  tell me 'no.' I smirked towards myself, as I turned back around and grabbed the bottle of wine along with two wine glasses.

Once I filled each glass just under halfway, I heard the door knob finally jiggle -- signaling the arrival of Bill. However, what greeted me as soon as I saw him walk through the door -- made my smile fall into a small quizzical frown.

_He was annoyed by something... Or worse yet, someone._

"I told you, don't book any kind of trips for me. I'm heading back home to relax. I don't want to jet off to some place else as soon as I land," he sighed into the receiver of his iPhone, while he pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes for a moment. It was almost as if he were simply  _praying_  for relief. After two years of working for this man, I knew exactly what his tells were. 

_Uh oh, someone just set him into a bad mood._

I was almost tempted to pity whoever it was that trying to surprise him, but after knowing just how hard he worked on this film... I decided against giving whoever it was on the other line, any sort of pity whatsoever. The man needed  _rest,_  not a trip around the world.

"Dammit, that's  _not_  what I said. Jesus, why does this always -" he had obviously been cut off abruptly by whoever it was he was speaking with. Bill threw his head back and looked at the ceiling, trying to calm himself down.

I, on the other hand, while slightly worried -- had also become  _fascinated_  with just how  _gorgeous_  he looked whenever he became angry. Clearly, he hadn't seen me standing in the kitchen yet; simply watching him with a curious stare fixed firmly upon my face. But I was certainly taking in how his tone of voice became deeper with every word he mutter; and how his chest was beginning to rise and fall in rapid succession. I even noticed how red his face was becoming, the more his temper began to rise.

_Fuck; he's hot when he's mad._

"I told you that we'll go -- but I want to get home and  _rest_  first. I've been away for over  _three and a half months_  and there are people I would like to see. What the hell do you want from me?" He snapped into the receiver, as he finally turned around and saw me standing there. 

Call it intuition, but in that moment...  _I knew he needed me._  Something deep within his eyes and facial expression, practically cried out for me to save him from whoever it was that was pissing him off -- over the phone. Saying nothing, I started to slowly lift my shirt over my head and unhook my bra. Afterwards, I shimmied my black shorts down my silky smooth legs and cocked my head to the side. I stood there for a few seconds in nothing but my thong panties; looking at him as if I wanted to completely  _ruin_  him. Giving him a crafty little wink, I crooked my finger and gave him the come hither signal with my small left hand. He regarded me with determination, then let out a sigh and made his way towards me.

"No, I'm pissed because I feel like you're _not_ respecting me!" He seethed into the phone, as he finally drew closer towards me. 

_Whoever this person is, they better send me a fucking gift basket for this..._

With him standing in front of me, I placed my hands on his chest; settling them on his waist as I pulled his body closer towards my own. My face buried itself within the crook of his neck that was exposed, as I placed feather light kisses from his collar bone -- all the way towards the bottom of his earlobe. I felt the tension starting to leave his body almost immediately, while I took a step back and watched him close his eyes.

Reaching for his belt buckle, I saw his mossy green eyes snap open with a mixture of lust and  _slight_  alarm.

_'Get off the phone'_  I mouthed quietly. 

As soon as he gave me the silent signal for "just a moment," I shook my head; instead I slid down his body and dropped straight down to my knees. My hands quietly continued to unbuckle his belt as he stood there, mouth agape trying to process that I was really about to do this while he was on the phone.

"Um, what? Yeah no, I'm listening. Sorry, I'm trying to pack something. Listen, let me cool down and I'll call you back later." 

Whoever it was, clearly didn't get the brush off because they continued to yammer on -- pretending that they still had more business to discuss.

After I managed to set Bill free from the confines of his pants; I took him in my hand as I looked back up at his perfect face. A wicked smirk passed over my face as my tongue darted out -- licking the head of his cock tentatively. The sharp inhale he took, made me smile as I opened my mouth and sheathed his tip within my awaiting lips.

" _Oh shit,_ " he breathed out, as his eyes slipped closed and he bit his bottom lip.

However, he must have remembered the phone call he was currently on as his eyelids popped open once again -- looking slightly terrified.

"Sorry! I just remembered I have to call my agent about an important meeting he wants to set up soon. Listen, I really do need to go but I'll call you back. I promise," he said back, while he clamped down on his lip and looked down at me sucking him off in the most delightfully sinful way.

_'I swear I'm gonna fuck you up for this,'_  he silently warned me, as his face distorted between slight anger and pleasure.

My tongue began to work him over into a frenzy, as my head gently bobbled up and down the length of his dick; I reached my hand up and cupped his sack while I continued my quest to bring him off. _I needed to taste him,_ and I would have  _exactly_  what I wanted; the person on the other end of that phone annoying the shit out of him -- wouldn't take this away from me as far as I was concerned.

"Sure; okay. We'll talk soon. Bye," he sighed as he hung up his phone and tossed it on the counter. 

Suddenly, I was yanked upwards to my feet by a large hand that knotted itself in my hair.

" _What the fuck,_  did I tell you about your mouth?" he hissed at me, while I stood before him with an innocent look on my face. 

"That you like it?" I questioned brazenly, feigning complete ignorance at his question.

I wasn't exactly sure what had come over me within the last 10 minutes or so, but I was beginning to realize that  _I loved riling him_  up like this. A huff of hot air blew across my face as I worried my lip in between my teeth, and looked at him with a gleam in my eye.

"You want to play games then," he said as his lips collided with mine, and he pushed me back towards the dinner table. 

Bill only broke our kiss long enough to hoist me up onto the table, and send dishes clattering towards the floor.

_"Hey!"_  I cried out as I realized that he just ruined the nice dinner I had set up.

But before I could protest any further, he pulled my panties towards the side and slid straight inside.

"Fuck it," I sighed, as he slowly pumped himself within my body and I laid back against the tabletop. 

"Yeah, that's exactly  _what the fuck_  I thought," he growled, and lifted my left leg onto his shoulder; slamming into me once again. 

"Oh God," I moaned aloud, while my eyes slipped closed and I savored the  _delicious_  feeling of stretching me open.

Before I had a chance to relax into his pace; he cranked up the heat and it turned  _ferocious_  -- quickly. His thrusts were hard and relentless; causing my back to glide upwards on the table. My eyes opened, as I took him in. His face was nothing more than a dark look of concentration and lust. This wasn't going to be sweet or even passionate like our first two times were; if anything he was going to take his frustrations out on me and the thought of that -- just made me get even  _wetter_  with excitement.

Without warning, his hand shot around my neck and ruthlessly gripped my throat as he pulled me closer towards his face -- practically folding my body in half.

"You like it when I fuck you like a  _whore_ , don't you?"

_"Maybe,"_  I confessed, as I felt myself clinching tighter around his throbbing cock that was burying itself over and over deep within my core. 

Swiftly, he pulled himself out of me and tugged me off the table. In the midst of my slight confusion, he turned me around facing the table before he slammed my upper body against it. Just as quickly, he gripped my hips within his large hands and impaled me from behind.

" _Oh_   _yes,_ " I moaned; reveling in the feeling of his sheer  _dominance_  over me. 

Unexpectedly, I felt a harsh smack land on my ass.

"Did I say you could speak baby?" His tone left no room for backtalk; he wanted full control and I was going to give it to him one way or the other. 

"No," I squeaked; biting my lip to prevent me from moaning.

Another sharp slap landed on the other cheek.

"No  _what?_ " He teased, as his hand slipped underneath my hips; making their way towards the juncture between my thighs.

_"No sir,"_  I whined. His large digit finally come into contact with my clit; rubbing it as a reward for my compliance.

"Good girl," he groaned.

Bill's brutal assault on my pussy continued, while I hunched over the table -- trying to quietly enjoy myself but it was proving  _far_  more difficult than I had imagined.

" _Goddamn_  you take dick and orders  _phenomenally,_  Jesus Christ," he panted; losing himself within the fantasy that we both created -- right here, on this dining room table. 

"Shit, I'm close," I exhaled, gripping the side of the table so tightly that my knuckles were turning white. 

"Don't you fucking  _dare_  come yet," he commanded, as his finger continued to tease my sensitive bundle of nerves. 

I let out a cry of passionate frustration, trying to hold back my impending orgasm. Bill's skin slapping into mine, were the only other sounds I could register in that moment as I felt my body starting to sweat; and I tried to think of literally  _anything else_  other than how much I was  _turned on._  He refused to grant me any reprieve as he slammed my hips into the edge of the table, and I welcomed the contrasting feelings of pain mixing with the pleasure. He was utterly tenacious in his pursuit; pouring out every single frustration on me and I drank in his energy  _greedily._

"Smack my ass," I pleaded shamelessly.

Without hesitation, I felt his smack land right on my left ass cheek as I growled into the table.

"Harder baby, I know you can do better than that," I begged. 

_"Fuck Y/N,_ " he moaned out as he landed an even hard slap on my right cheek.

"You wanna come baby?  _Beg for it,_ " he huffed, while he continued to work me over into my peak.

"Please let me come sir," In that very second, I felt nothing but  _freedom._  Wanting nothing more than  _please_  him so he would give me  _exactly_  what I needed.

Reaching around the front of my body, he pushed me further into the table and the pad of his finger struck my sensitive and swollen clit -- once more.

"Come," he whispered gently; pressing his digit harder into my clit and rubbing it almost violently. 

Nothing about this was pretty. It was filthy, animalistic and _fuck me... I delighted in it._  Soon enough, I felt my core tighten it's hold against his member as fire consumed the blood within my veins.

_"Shit, shit, shit,"_  I panted as his hips crashed into mine, over and over again. His other hand left my hip, wrapping itself around my throat from behind as he brought my back closer towards his chest.

"Goddammit Y/N, I said come!" He growled aggressively, biting down on the side of my neck; causing me to finally let go and allow my release to take me straight over the edge. My scream ripped from my throat and heat exploded in my lower belly.

"Jesus you're fucking  _beautiful_  when you come like this," Bill observed as he continued to work himself through my orgasm. 

Once he released me, I slumped over the table top; my heavy breathing almost  _suffocating_  me as I tried to mentally catch up with what had just taken place. That was one of the  _best_  orgasms I've ever had...

"Where do you want me to come baby girl?" He baited me; pulling me back into the task at hand. That question though, certainly did the trick as I perked up almost immediately.

"My mouth; I want to taste you." 

Pulling himself out of my opening, he stood back as I turned over to face him.

"On your knees." 

I didn't need to be told twice, I got down onto my knees gracelessly. I didn't care how desperate I looked in this moment; all I wanted was for him to give me what I had been craving.

"Such a good little  _slut,_ " he muttered as soon I took him into back into my mouth again; happily trying to drain him dry. 

A few moments later, his mouth fell open as his let out a strangely erotic mix between a growl and a moan.

"Fuck me, don't stop. Take all of it," his request came out like a sinfully dirty little prayer and I was obligated to oblige him -- so I did. 

The first spurt didn't even land on my tongue, in fact it just shot right down my throat. However, I pulled back and swiped my tongue under the head of his cock and his release didn't miss this time. Closing my eyes, I  _relished_  in his taste.

Bill slumped over, breathing heavily while bracing his arms on the table as I sucked out every last drop before releasing him from my mouth.

I crawled out from underneath him, while he plopped down on the floor next to me. Both of us worn out and reeling from the sheer  _intensity_  of what had just transpired.

"I didn't hurt you did I?" He asked quietly, almost as if he were worried or ashamed; I couldn't decide which. However, it was a stark contrast to just how commandeering he was only a few short moments prior. 

"Are you kidding me?  _I enjoyed that_ , yet most of all I enjoyed it because  _you_  needed it. I'm fine," I reassured him, as I leaned into his shoulder.

He lifted my head, bringing my lips to his. His kiss was tender and deep -- almost knocking the wind right out of me.

"Thank you," he whispered calmly. 

"Who pissed you off? Someone really worked you up and I'm kind of curious as to who," I questioned, as I looked in his eyes -- seeking out the answer.

He simply gazed back at me, licking his lips and releasing a sigh before looking down at the floor for a moment.

In that instant, I knew. It was  _her._

_His girlfriend._

I just gave him a  _blow job,_  as he was fighting with his girlfriend over the phone.

_If I weren't going to hell before, I certainly am now..._

"She's upset that I've told her that I don't want to go house hunting together anymore. So she wants to take me on a getaway as soon as I get home, even though I just want to rest and see my family," he sighed. "I can't plan a future with her when I desperately crave a different one altogether..." His confession was blunt, and I listened patiently.

The moment was a deeply profound one. Something had occurred and changed between us, but I didn't know what exactly. Maybe a new level of trust was born between us, or perhaps it was something else  _entirely;_  yet the only thing I knew in this moment was that this was  _never_  going to just be a one time fling. We were absolutely  _addicted_  to each other, and it's within each other we were finally finding the freedom to actually be ourselves in ways we couldn't be with anyone else.

* * *

 


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Musical Inspiration(s): Delicate by: Taylor Swift & Lonely Together (Acoustic Version) by: Avicii & Rita Ora 
> 
> [Author's Notes: As always, please ignore any typos, errors and so forth as I generally catch any that I miss – after publication. Therefore I'll fix them as time progresses.]

* * *

**_September 15, 2013 --_ **

Champagne flowed freely and classical piano music was playing in the background, as people were happily mingling amongst one another; except for me. Instead, I sat at the bar and continued to play with my drinking glass. My father was proudly hosting a party for one of our models, Olivia Moore, whom had just gotten signed to walk in the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show this year.

It was strange, I went to school for four years to earn my degree in Communications; while this chick had nothing more than a high school diploma and was excelling further in life than I could ever  _hope_  to. The thought alone, was depressing as hell.

Upon graduating earlier this year from NYU, my folks had gifted me with a $1.8 million dollar condo in the city in hopes that  _I_  would be the sibling that stayed behind and came into the family business. After all, when your parents run one of the most sought after modeling and talent agencies on the East Coast of the United States,  _The Frankford Talent Institute_ \--  they clearly have high hopes that I'll eventually join in the family business at some point; it was only natural really. However, I wanted to build a life for myself and find  _my own_  success. Which was why I had personally informed them, that I had dreams and aspirations of being able to take my degree into the media world. Of course, I could tell they were slightly let down by the revelation yet regardless -- they decided to support me.

After three months of endless application processes, I was soon faced with the reality that  _not one single office_  in the city I had applied to -- had even called me back for an interview. With the economy trying to recover, I quickly discovered that trying to get in with one of these companies was going to be next to impossible; unless I actually knew someone who worked in any of these places. As my savings started to dwindle down into the red, I came to grips with the fact that I had to shelf that dream and ultimately take my parents up on their employment offer. They were ecstatic with my change of heart, while I on the other hand, had to gently remind them that me coming on-board was only _temporary_  as I did want to build my own life and career at some point.

Now here I was, sipping on pink champagne at the bar and watching my new boss Olivia -- mingle around and put herself out there with other talent scouts that had been invited to the party. Upon arriving within the company, my dad immediately placed me as Olivia's assistant. My job? Keep her on time for all of her appointments, handle her scheduling needs and most importantly of all --  _keep her happy._  Olivia though, was almost next to  _impossible_  to please. In fact, I was sitting here feeling like a cheap prostitute, thanks to her  _insisting_  that I wear this incredibly short black dress because in her words,  _'my assistant has to look at least halfway decent if she's going to appear with me in public.'_

_Fuck my life._

This dress was  _so short,_  I actually texted my father prior to us arriving tonight -- simply to  _apologize_  for how I would look and to blame Olivia for making me wear it. Luckily, my dad was a patient person who understood that sometimes the talent we acquired -- had outlandish requests for us once in a while.

It was enough to make me feel like jumping off the Brooklyn Bridge, to be honest.

"You look ready to throw yourself off the balcony and give everyone the finger while you do it," a voice suddenly spoke out from behind me; startling me out of my daze. 

I swiveled my seat around in hopes of figuring out who had exposed my master plan so carelessly in public. Yet when I finally looked up into his eyes, I wasn't exactly prepared for how insanely  _gorgeous_  this stranger was.

_Oh holy fuck... Hello handsome._

"How rude. Don't you know it's terrible manners to expose people's plans so publicly? Now I have to come up with a new idea," I smiled back at him, watching as a smirk lit up the features on his handsome face. 

His hand extended outwards, waiting for me to take it. After a moment, I set my glass back down on the bar and grasped his larger hand within my own.

"I'm Bill; it's nice to meet you."

"Y/N, and it's nice to meet you too."

Bill's head tilted towards the side slightly, almost as if he were trying to put a puzzle together inside of his mind. "Y/N? You wouldn't happen to be related to the guy who's company is throwing this get together, would you?"

Momentarily, I closed my eyes and bit my lip nervously as I allowed my hand to slip away from his.

"Y/F/N happens to be my father, and our new Victoria's Secret model Miss Olivia Moore -- just so happens to be my boss as I'm her assistant," I informed him, while I slowly reached for my glass atop of the bar.

After I finished taking a sip of the bubbly liquid, I set my glass back down once again before I re-focused my attention back on him.

"If you're looking to network with someone truly important, you might want to actually try my dad. Otherwise, you're barking up the wrong tree as I can't help you with much of anything else." I warned him playfully, hoping he would get the hint that I wasn't really anyone he should waste his time with.

A chuckle escaped his lips, and his delightfully green eyes landed solely upon mine. "It's a good thing I wasn't looking to mingle with anyone  _truly important_  then," he replied with a wink.

Laughter bubbled to the surface and escaped my lips, as I shook my head at his poor attempt at possible flirting.

"That was  _terrible!_ " 

His smile grew into larger than life proportions as he took in my reaction, "was it?"

"Oh absolutely."

* * *

**_August 25, 2016 -- Present:_ **

My eyelids fluttered open, bringing me back into reality. It had been awhile since I had dreamt about that fateful meeting between Bill and I; and it also left me wondering how the hell I had missed some of the most  _obvious_  signs from our past.

Gray clouds rolled in darkening the morning sky; with thunder rolling off in the distance, and the last thing I wanted to do was crawl out of this bed. Especially since Bill was snuggling against my back and I could feel his soft breathing, gently ghosting across my neck and shoulder. It was our last official day here, and he hadn't left my side all night; refusing to leave me to my own devices after what had previously transpired between us _._  Instead, after we had collected ourselves off the floor, he ran a bath for me and insisted that I get in it and relax -- while he stayed behind in the kitchen and cleaned up the remnants of our ruined dinner. I guess after what had happened between us, he wanted to handle me more tenderly; almost  _delicately._  I didn't think I would even  _need_  that kind of affectionate attention, however it felt  _nice_  to receive nevertheless.

My eyes slipped shut, as the events of last night flashed through my mind; his fire and passion -- it was all-consuming and never ending.

_What an intricate web we weave..._

Surprisingly, I had always thought that if a man were to treat me as roughly as I had received last night during the act of sex, that I wouldn't enjoy it -- but the truth was... I highly enjoyed it  _with him._  For some reason, it was just easy to do with Bill. Perhaps it was because I knew him better than most others did; and therefore I knew he felt the same in that particular aspect as I did -- yet in the end, I knew it was solely because  _I trusted him_  to lead the way.

It's a rare and fickle thing;  _trust._  It's not easily attainable and can be shattered with just the  _tiniest infraction_. Yet, given our remarkable circumstances -- I trusted him immeasurably. He had seen me through several high and low points over the years; never once had he judged me beyond repair. I could say the same in kind for him as well; because of working so closely together over the past few years, he had sometimes just needed a friend to vent to and be there with him. He did a lot of growing up alone over the years -- basically seeing friends and family back home, whenever the opportunities had managed to present themselves. But underneath it all, I knew how difficult it was to live and grow on your own; except he did it all in a  _different country_  because his goals and aspirations in his life had demanded it from him.

Before we had met each other, we were simply a couple of young adults just stumbling through life -- and in a lot of ways we still were even today. Bill had had quite a few discrete liaisons over the years, prior to getting with his current girlfriend; while I was just a city girl with a dream of a bigger life who normally played things  _safe_  in the romance department. I didn't sleep around, particularly in my past, nor did I just jump into everything with my ex-boyfriend John either. In fact, this illicit little affair is probably the most  _risque_  thing I've  _ever_  done in my entire life. Alas, here we were though and I was enjoying what little time we had left together -- before reality was due to set back in tomorrow.

My thoughts however, were interrupted as I felt his arm tighten around my midsection and a pair of pillow soft lips land perfectly within the crook of my neck.

"Good morning," I whispered with a smile. 

_Fuck, I could really get used to this... What is he doing to me?_

He simply hummed against my neck, as his hands began to gently wonder upwards towards my breasts. Upon giving my left breast a tender squeeze, I breathed out an airy giggle; hoping he would continue his subtly sweet exploration of my body.

"God, you have _no idea_  how long I've wanted to do this," he grumbled quietly. His lips started drifting towards my exposed ear, while he licked and nipped at my exposed skin. 

"You should have just told me, you know. We could have possibly been doing this a hell of a lot  _sooner,_ " I mused softly, taking in his tender affections and closing my eyes.

He halted his task at hand and sat up, pulling me back so I could turn and face him --- causing the sheet that was covering me to slip down my body and expose my chest to him.

In that moment, it didn't matter that I probably had an insane case of bedhead or that I  _probably_  needed to get up and make myself look more presentable. None of those trivial things even mattered presently; in fact all that mattered right now was that we had each other all to ourselves, and the only thing I could do was look at him in awe.

_How is this even my life right now? What the fuck did I manage to do right?_

Bill's eyes locked onto mine, and all I could do was bite my lip as I watched him observe me carefully.

"You're right, I should have done this a hell of a lot sooner," he whispered to me, while his lips came to rest on-top of my own in a delicately tender kiss. 

It never ceased to amaze me just  _how much_  his kisses always seemed to make me halt in my tracks, and have me come to a complete mental stand still. With him, it felt as if time stopped and it was only just the two of us. The world outside of these four walls, ceased to exist and the only thing that made any sense anymore -- was his skin pressed so closely to mine.

"I need you," I pleaded quietly, as he pulled back and looked into my eyes.

"I know; I need you too."

I could hear the thunder coming closer while a flash of lightning briefly illuminated the room for a second, and the rain started to gently tap against the window behind my bed.

I pressed my lips to his, drinking in his intoxicating kiss as his hands began to drift down the side of my body -- bringing me  _even closer_  to him. Wrapping my left leg around his hip, he shifted his body atop of my own and settled deep between my thighs. My hands wondered aimlessly, with no particular direction in mind. As his left hand cupped my face, he pulled back and closed his eyes; resting his forehead against my own. His breath fanned across my face effortlessly, while my hands drifted into his feathery brown hair.

"Are you okay?" I asked him, suddenly worried that he may be second guessing this whole thing after all. 

"With you, _I'm perfect._ " 

Pulling his head back up, he stared down at me once more; almost as if he were committing this moment into his memory or something. I began to feel slightly exposed and shy under his intense gaze. Bill's piercing look made my breath catch in my throat, which caused me to momentarily advert my eyes away from his; his look was so intense that it suddenly made me feel  _bashful._

"Please...  _Please don't do that._  Look at me," he paused, causing me to shift my attention back onto him. "You're  _so_  fucking beautiful."

_There's my head, my heart and I'm so caught in the middle..._

As I pulled his lips back down to my own, I poured my own feelings into the kiss; hoping that whatever I couldn't articulately verbalize -- he would possibly understand through my actions instead. I knew better than to hope that he would be just mine, but that didn't mean that I didn't wish for it either. And if I could only have him during these few fleeting moments, then so be it. I would selfishly take it all.

Our bodies molded together in a perfect rhythm of forbidden ecstasy as I felt him slip inside of me with ease. His thrusts were tortuously slow; burning me alive with want and need. Bill temporarily broke our kiss, causing our eyes to lock as his right hand drifted outwards, splaying itself across my arm and interlocking with my left one. His gentle thrusts never stopped, as I kept my eyes solely upon his. The intimacy of this act wasn't lost upon me, if anything... I openly welcomed this unique change of pace.

Leaning his head towards mine, he leisurely kissed me once again. His tongue darted against my lips; silently begging for entrance -- which I readily granted him. Deliberately, his tongue slowly intertwined with mine; our kiss felt lazy and beautiful all at the same time. I could feel myself getting  _even wetter_ , as he sensuously thrust himself inside of me. Bill was stimulating me not just on a physical level, but perhaps even more so -- on an  _emotional_  one as well; which I wasn't entirely prepared for.

Maybe, that was why my orgasm snuck up on me and blindsided me from out of nowhere -- causing me to pull back from our kiss and a gasp to escape from my lips. My brows furrowed evenly, as I felt myself free-fall over the edge and my blood caught fire within my very veins. Bill realized what was transpiring the second it happened, as my muscles had clamped down onto him and he let out a low moan of appreciation.

"Eyes on me darling; keep them on me," he reminded me breathlessly; all the while he continued to watch me in sheer amazement -- tortuously grinding himself further into my body and working himself through my orgasm.

The second I came back down from my high, his head came to rest against my own while I finally allowed my eyes to slip closed for a moment. The sound of thunder along with our heavy breathing filled the room, as he continued push himself further inside. My hands came to rest on his scalp; threading themselves within his luscious chocolate colored locks as he dipped his head to take my nipple into his fiery hot mouth. Sparks ignited within me once again, the second his wet tongue swirled around the perky bud, and I felt myself losing grip once more.

It was  _maddening_ , just how  _easily_  he could make me come undone; almost as if my body spoke a certain language that only  _he_  knew fluently. I felt the  _passion, desire_  and  _heat_  building between us while he gingerly thrust his hips into my own. I had  _never_ experienced something as  _tender_  or as  _sensual_  as this before; not with anyone -- not even John. It felt as if time were suspended, reality no longer existed and I had  _completely forgotten_  where Bill ended and I began. It was beautiful, all encompassing and was only eclipsed by the fact that I felt my fortified walls -- beginning to crumble down all around me.

It was only then, that it finally dawned upon me about what was really transpiring here: We weren't just having sex...  _He was making love to me._

A moan fell from my lips as I tossed my head backwards against the soft pillows; my vision began to blur and I felt another wave of release rip straight out of me -- causing me to feel as if I were going to explode. Bill's lips sought out mine, while his thrusts grew slightly more erratic; his hand clasping within mine and he pulled back so he could watch me free-fall into an abyss of pure bliss. His breath fanned against my face, as lightning flashed across the room once again and thunder cracked in the sky outside.

Our interlocked fingers were gripping each other's hands tightly, neither one of us stopping the inevitable. The rain pounded relentlessly against the glass, letting us know that the storm had picked up momentum outside -- just as we did right here in this bed. It was a beautiful symphony of emotion and physicality that never ceased to amaze me every time we came together.

"Oh God," he moaned aloud, gripping my hand even tighter than before -- allowing his own release to pull him into a world of euphoria. Bill's green eyes stared hard into mine; as he let go of my hand, cupped the side of my face and brought my lips to his for a searing kiss that almost left me completely breathless. I could feel him twitching and spasming deep within my body, while I just stared up at him in wonder-filled amazement. 

After he had finished, he breathlessly collapsed atop of me; unable to move as he had to catch his breath and gather his strength. I on the other hand, gently ran my fingers through his partially sweaty hair and kissed the side of his head; giving him the few moments he desperately need in order to really collect himself once again.

"What have you done to me?" He groaned from beside me.

The truth was, I didn't have an answer to that question -- because in all actuality, I was wondering just  _what the hell_  he had done to me as well.

* * *

**_August 26, 2016 -- 6:24 A.M._ **

The storm from yesterday refuse to yield while the rain continued to pour down endlessly, as I stood behind the glass storm door -- waiting for our taxi to arrive. Bill and I had decided several days ago to catch a car to the airport together. We would both catch a flight to New York's JFK International Airport and from there, he would catch his next flight into Sweden. I should be  _happy_  to be heading home, but the truth was...  _I wasn't._  I was feeling slightly depressed knowing that tomorrow morning, I wouldn't be waking up by his side.

_He has clearly spoiled me..._

My heart began to race, as I felt a pair of lean muscular arms slip around my waist and pull me closer towards his body.

"Are you trying to get seen by the neighbors?" My light tone, humorously trying to point out the obvious to him.

"Fuck 'em," he mumbled, placing his lips inside the crook of my neck. I was beginning to wonder if that was his favorite spot to kiss on my body; not that I was complain though.

His response caused me to laugh and finally relax into his embrace. This vacation house had turned into our own private little sanctuary over the past few days; leaving it all behind to return back to our normal lives -- seemed like a very depressing idea indeed.

"This really sucks," I whispered on baited breath, hoping I hadn't just fucked up and made him think I couldn't handle this.

"I know," he nudged me gently, working his way towards my ear. 

"Time away should do us both a world of good to be honest, we're not sure of what this is; maybe we both need time to figure it out and most importantly for  _you_  to decide what you want," my suggestion came out as a pleading whisper; hopeful in the fact that he would understand that both needed time to think about where we stood. 

At the moment, he and I were dancing around  _something._  What though, I couldn't be sure. But he needed to get things on his end together. The truth was, I didn't know if I felt comfortable continuing this if he decided to keep his current relationship going.

Bill pulled back slightly, releasing his hold on me enough to simply turn me around to face him.

"I know that I like  _who I am_  when I'm with you, and I know I can  _trust_  you more than anyone else in my life. I also know that I can't get enough of you and you drive me  _fucking insane_  with need," he paused as he growled out that last part, and pecked my lips once again. "I just need some time to get things straightened out on my end; but I swear... I absolutely will."

A small and meek smile graced my lips as I glanced away from his intense gaze.

_Only time would tell if he still felt this way in a few weeks; especially after seeing her again..._

"I like who I am when I'm with you too," I answered back quietly. Bill then lifted my chin towards him and laid a gentle kiss upon my lips. 

It never failed to amaze me just how much his lips could  _hypnotize_  me; his kisses were intoxicating and all I wanted in that moment was to shut the door and miss my flight.

"Why did you have to book our flights so  _early?_ " He pleaded as he pulled back from our kiss; clearly I wasn't the only one who had the similar thoughts in mind.

I let out a small giggle, turning my attention back to his perfect face, "I would think after practically all day yesterday -- you would be good to go and begging for a break by now," I surmised humoursly, my hand gently brushing against his right cheek.

"When it comes to you, I can  _never get enough_  and I don't want to," he told me, while he captured my lips with his own once more. Bill's larger than life hands cupped my cheeks, tilting my face up towards his. 

_I'm an actual idiot for this, I know I am; but I'm a willing idiot because I don't care how badly this hurts me when this whole thing crashes and burns -- right in front of my face... His touch alone, is more than worth it._

Gathering a fist full of his black leather jacket into my hands, I sunk deeper into his kiss without a care in the world.

It was only when a car horn blared right outside of the door, that we were brought back into the real world and faced with the reality that once we stepped outside of this door -- we could no longer be this affectionate with one another.

As I pulled back from his grasp, I released my own hold on him and leaned down to grab the handle on my rolling suitcase.

"You ready?" I sadly asked, while I prepared myself to make the best of this time apart. 

"Unfortunately. Let's go," he suggested, as he opened the door and popped open the umbrella -- so we could make our way out towards the cab. 

* * *

 


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Musical Inspiration: Tell Me You Love Me by: Demi Lovato
> 
> [Author's Notes: As always, please ignore any typos, errors and so forth as I generally catch any that I miss – after publication. Therefore I'll fix them as time progresses. Also, I used Google Translate for the Swedish in this chapter - please excuse any mistakes with the phrases. Luckily I have a few sweet readers who are more fluent with Swedish than I am, so they've been helping me make those corrections.]

* * *

**New York City, New York --**

Breathless and tired from dragging three huge pieces of luggage behind me, I had finally made it to the front door of my condo. I figured that Bill was probably boarding his flight to Sweden at the moment, and a muffled dinging noise erupting from my purse had let me know that I had received a new text message.

Despite having to resist the urge to grab my cell phone out of my bag first, I snatched up my keys and unlocked my door in order to get my bags inside and settle down on my couch. I was completely worn out from the activities of the last few days, and from all the traveling I had done today. Unfortunately for me, I had almost forgotten about how fickle this old lock on my door could be. It liked to stick, particularly in the rising heat of summer and the dead cold of winter. I groaned as I searched my brain to remember the trick to unlocking this stubborn old door. The past three months, I was fortunate enough to not have to fiddle with it -- now I was back home again and of course, this lock on my door was trying to welcome me back home in its own way.

Finally, the lock slid into place and I was allowed entry.

"Home at last," I mumbled to no one in particular.

At first glance, I  _almost_  didn't recognize my own home. There were objects strewn about the room; almost as if a tornado had torn through the place.

"What the fu--" the whisper soon died upon my lips while the puzzle pieces of what happened, started to click into place. 

_That son of a bitch!_

My entire condo was trashed; and not just trashed -- no, it was  _demolished._

It figures that John would be this foolish; this petty... This  _childish._  And it was exactly the reason I felt justified in breaking up with him. Any of my previously lingering feelings of guilt for sleeping with Bill prior to our breakup, began to evaporate with each passing second that I surveyed my living room.  _Of course he went off and did this; I shouldn't be surprised really._  I denied him what he wanted, and in return he decided to leave me this one last parting shot. I couldn't help but to shake my head at such utter nonsense, while I pulled my bags inside and gingerly closed my front door behind me. A moment later, my phone started to going off once again -- reminding me that I had ignored a text message.

"Shit!" I quietly cursed myself for my forgetfulness, as I began to rummage through my purse once again. Once I finally clasped it within my grip, I pulled it out only to realize the text message was from Bill.

_Two more weeks, beautiful. Fuck I miss you. I'll text/call when I can._

I couldn't help the smile that inched its way across my face, nor did I even care to stop it. In that moment I realized just how much  _more_  I was growing to care for this man. Even while I stood here in my wrecked condominium, that my ex messed up on his way out of my life -- I still managed to  _smile_  and find solace, simply because of  _him._  When it boiled down to it, John had stopped making me this happy a long time ago; in fact by the end of our relationship -- I found myself feeling over stressed, exhausted and overwhelmed. With Bill though, it was different; I began to feel free, exhilarated and more importantly -- appreciated.

_I miss you too, handsome. Enjoy your time with your family and friends, and in two weeks, I'm all yours again. ;) Have a safe flight._

I pressed send before I could talk myself out of it. The only thing I could do was just hope that he received it prior to the plane departing. Releasing a sigh I hadn't realized I had been holding in, I shut my phone off and took one last look around my living room.

"Time to clean up this mess," I groaned, annoyed at the fact that once again I was stuck cleaning up one last mess from John; and with that -- I made my way towards the kitchen and retrieved a couple of trash bags from underneath the sink.

* * *

A few hours later, I finally had my house back into decent shape and I grabbed a bottle of wine along with my favorite wine glass -- relaxing into my couch in order to catch my breath. In all honesty, I was worn out and tired; if I could just finish this glass of wine and fall asleep for the next ten thousand years, I probably wouldn't complain. My favorite music was playing softly throughout the living room, thanks to wonderful surround system that my mother had gifted me for my birthday last year; and I felt myself sinking further into the cushions as I allowed myself a moment to relax.

But of course, my phone  _clearly didn't get the memo_  because it started ringing -- causing me to let out a pathetic whine while I set down my wine glass, and made my way over towards my kitchen counter. A small peak at the caller ID caused me to frown for a second before answering it...

"Hey dad, what's up?" 

"Ahh you're back home, great! Listen sweetie, I know you have the next couple of weeks off but I'll need you to come in and see me later this afternoon. I need a rundown on how Toronto went and I wanted to bring up something I need your feedback on." 

My father was as professional as ever, and therefore it was almost a  _requirement_  in our family that everyone adapt the same mentality.  _People who hit the snooze button, didn't often find the success that they were looking for_  -- according to him at least; so of course trying to re-schedule would be  _out of the question._

"Of course daddy. I'll be there within the hour," I sighed into my phone, getting ready to gather up my handbag and head out the door.

"Thank you Y/N. I hate calling you in before you've had a chance to relax, but it can't wait."

"It's no problem, it'll be good to see you again. Tell momma I'll be over tomorrow night for dinner -- okay?" 

"Sure thing. See you soon." 

As soon as I hit the "end call" button on my phone, I had already grabbed my keys and started to make my way out the door. Whatever it was my father needed, it must have been urgent.

It didn't take me long to arrive to  _The Frankford Talent Institute_ , after hailing down a nearby cab. Upon walking through the double glass doors of the lavishly tall skyscraper, Stacy the main receptionist gave me a toothy grin as she greeted me.

"Hey Y/N, glad to see you're back from Toronto! How was it?" Her bubbly personality was infectious, and even though I was tired -- I still put on a smile for her.

"It was awesome, I can't wait to do it again in 2018. I'll show you some photos when I come back to the office next week." 

"Looking forward to it! Your dad is waiting in his office upstairs, so I'll buzz his secretary and let her know you're here." 

At that, I simply nodded my head and moved in the direction towards the elevators. Our office was enormous; and my parents were proud to have finally landed this building back in the early 2000′s. While we spent a majority of our time managing our talent, we also hosted training classes for people who were looking to break into the entertainment business. The general public were welcome to pay a modest fee and sit in on any number of training classes; whether that was for acting, modeling and even singing. From there, our highly trained specialty coaches would spot potentially talented people from each Introduction Class, and make them an offer to do more experienced and personalized training at a later date. For those who made it through our training programs, and passed an audition with our talent acquisition team, we happily offered to sign them to our agency -- and to start helping them find work in order to get their name out there.

Through it all, my family managed to find and sign some of the biggest names in entertainment. Bill, luckily for me, was about to become the next big star on our talent list -- thanks to this new role in the  _IT_  franchise. Turns out, the night we had met and I managed to introduce him to my father, they hit it off  _quite well._  It was the first time, in a long time, that I had seen my father so thoroughly impressed by someone. From there, Bill ended up making the switch to our agency less than a month later and the rest was history. My father switched me out from assisting Olivia, and made me transition over to handling all of Bill's affairs within the agency and personally. Luckily for me, even though Bill was my boss -- he treated me as if I were a friend, and rarely acted as a boss normally would. In the end, I found myself in a place where I grew to love my work. Together, we were a winning combination on the professional aspect of things and in that sense, I enjoyed how much of a team we had grown into.

Once I had arrived to the 75th floor of the building, I started to make my way over towards my father's office. His personal secretary, Tiffany, was waiting to greet me with a warm smile on her face and a bottle of water in her hands. Tiffany Smith was a plain but ambitious woman; and rumor had it that my mother personally hired her in order to discourage more attractive women from working so closely to my father. The rumor had always made me laugh when I was younger, but after the last few days I spent with Bill -- I was suddenly reminded of it once more.

"It's good to see you Y/N. Follow me please," she said while she lead me toward his office at the end of the hall. 

After she knocked lightly to alert him to our presence, she opened his door and stepped aside in order to let me through.

"Sir, your daughter Y/N is here to see you." 

"Thanks Tiffany, go ahead and take your break. We'll probably be in here discussing some business for a little bit." 

Tiffany gently nodded her head, as she closed the door behind me and my father walked over to lock me within his comforting embrace.

"Hey sweetie, thank you for coming on such short notice. I imagine that you're quite tired so I'll try not to take up too much of your time." He chuckled, as I hugged him back.

"Thanks dad. So what is it that's  _so_  important? I figured I wouldn't be required to come in to make my report until next week," I responded back, while I made my way over towards the chair in front of his immaculate mahogany desk.

_That desk is still as imposing and intimidating as I remember..._

"Well, I'll still need your report next week -- but I wanted the preliminary, off the record report from you directly. So how did our boy do in Toronto?"

I took a deep breath as I tried to collect my thoughts. I couldn't help the flashes of memories that sped past me at the speed of light, of the last few nights he and I had spent together. 

_Whatever you do Y/N, play it fucking cool. Avoid any mention of his last days on location..._

"He arrived slightly nervous, but ready. He was studious and very professional, however Bill and Andy hit it off  _magnificently_  -- like we knew they would since they had met a few times in LA prior to filming. They make a great team together. Barbara, as you know that's Andy's sister, was highly impressed by him; as were most of the cast and crew members to be fair. By the end of filming, they had managed to form their own little family of sorts and it was quite  _sweet_  actually. Bill on the other hand, is pretty tired from all of the physical attributes of filming so he's going to be at home in Sweden for the next couple of weeks. After that, we'll be jetting off to LA for a few weeks so he can begin working with Andy on the voice over work for the film." I finished explaining, while I opened my bottle water and took a tiny sip. 

"Good it sounds like everything went accordingly; that's excellent news! He was kept on schedule, correct?" 

I balked at such a question even being thrown my way...

_This is me and Bill we're talking about here, right? Of course he knows we're sticklers for punctuality. Bill was probably worse about it than I was, to be fair._

"Of course dad. You know how meticulous I am with his scheduling; and Bill felt the same way. Half the time he was trying to rush me out the door, thirty minutes before his driver would even arrive to take him to set. It was quite annoying actually," I had mumbled that last part, hoping he wouldn't fully hear it. My father on the other hand, let out a humble laugh as he nodded his head -- approving of my answers.

"Great! I knew it was a good idea to put you two together. I'm very surprised at how well he's coming along within the industry since we've signed him. He was doing decent on his own, but he's coming along a lot better since we managed to bring him on. Keep him going in the right direction, Y/N. He listens to you and respects your opinions; so watching the two of you working together to raise his profile -- has been quite a sight to see. I imagine that by next year, the two of you are finally going to see how much of that work has paid off -- so just be patient for a little while longer."

A slight smirk graced my lips, as I sat there feeling proud to have his approval.

"Thanks dad," I returned affectionately, while I started to stand up. "Will there be anything else?"

"Actually there is, and I wanted to run this by  _you_  before the announcement is made in the next couple of months."

There was something in his voice that caused me to pause for a moment, and sit back down within my seat. A questionable look passed over my face and I was curious about what he was about to say next.

"Okay, what's going on?"

My dad took a deep breath, and looked out his office window for a moment.

"As you know, Mike Morrison is the current Senior Talent Relations Executive, and he's about to leave the company next year. He wants to spend more time with his family and his father who is dealing with an illness. This means that a new opportunity is about to open up, and whoever lands it -- could fast track their way up within the company. Mike himself, will be hand-picking candidates and you should know Y/N...  _Your name_  has come up as a potential candidate."

Shock must have been clearly written all across my forehead, as I felt my jaw fall open at such a revelation.

"Wait, Mike wants  _me_  to apply for his position?"

"Yes, and he's not the only one. I too, think you would be excellent in that position as do several others; including  _three board members,_ " he acknowledged to me privately. 

Yet when it came to what I thought about all of this information, I just sat there feeling immobilized and startled by the news that people were looking towards  _me_  as a potential replacement. Mike Morrison was a  _legend_  within this company; and  _no one_  would be able to come close to his standards -- not even  _me._  He not only kept our talent happy, he also kept the agents and executives happy as well. Plus, he was one of our annual judges for people who auditioned to be signed by our company. His role within our organization was  _massive,_  so whoever took over it, would have to be the cream of the crop or Mike  _wouldn't dare_  sign off on it. He would want the person who took over, to make him proud and to keep the company going in a forward pressing direction; and to be honest, I wasn't too sure I was ready to take on that kind of inescapably big responsibility just yet.

"Wow, um... Thank you for letting me know about this. To be quite honest with you, I'm not too sure that I'm someone that should even _be in mind_ for this role; after all we have a lot of deserving people who have been with the company longer than I have," I shared genuinely, hoping that my father would understand some of my  _obvious hesitation_  about this. 

"Non-sense. One day, I fully expect you will take over for me as the CEO of this company. I know you've always wanted to build your own greatness, but I think you can do that from  _within_  these walls Y/N. You have the ability to take this company to  _astronomical heights._  You're already proving that to us within your role as an assistant. You pushed Olivia to the point she signed on as a Victoria's Secret model, and now you're doing it again by working with Bill. You're more important than you realize. It's okay to own that!" He announced eagerly; conviction laced within his voice as he refocused his attention back onto me.

"To be fair, those two landed  _their own_  gigs all on their own talent and merits. I may have been acting in a supporting role, but their achievements are  _all their own;_  and what about my work with Bill? Would I have to find a replacement for him? I don't suspect you'll have me working with him anymore, if I were to apply and this were to go through." 

My father, smiled warmly as he shook his head.

"You would no longer be his assistant, besides -- I thought that's what you wanted? To work your way out of that position! While you wouldn't be his assistant, you would still work closely with him and his agent to maintain that his needs are being met and to fix any issues that arise for them. It would be like this for all of our talent, actually. Plus you wouldn't have to travel as often if you didn't want to; and you would get a major pay raise, 401 K benefits, company stock options along with your own office. Our talent executives would report directly to you, and most importantly of all -- you would help to  _hand pick_  the new generation of entertainers from the ones who auditioned or submitted their reels/portfolios to us." Suddenly, my father paused in the middle of his pitch in order to make his way around his desk, and stand directly in front of me.

"Sweetie, this role would be to prepare you for the future. While your dear old dad isn't going to retire tomorrow -- I do want you to take this chance to get prepared. God knows your other siblings aren't too keen on the idea of heading up this company one day, when it's time for this old man to retire. But I  _do not_  want our family business going outside of our family either. Your grandfather founded this company, and  _you_  would be the third generation family member to take it over. Your mother and I grew it into the empire it is today. It'll be up to you to take it to new heights and expand it from here once I leave." He explained, as he patted me on the shoulder in a comforting manner, before walking back around towards his chair behind his daunting desk. 

I released a breath I didn't know I had been holding; if anything -- this little talk had simply confirmed my suspicions: ** _My parents fully expected me to stay, regardless of how I felt about the situation._**

_There goes the idea of me building my own life... My siblings get that opportunity, but clearly I don't._

The thought of it made me  _slightly_  resentful, to be honest.

"What about my aspirations? Do you not remember me telling you that I wanted to build my own career, life and success outside of my family's established name and business?" I questioned hesitantly, as he took his seat.

"This is your life. You were always  _my pick_  to continue the legacy Y/N. There is absolutely  _nothing_  wrong or shameful about you stepping into the family business. Nothing." His answer was resolute and unyielding, and I knew what that meant... There would be no arguing about this, the decision was already made on his end. I just need to come to grips with it on mine.

"Daddy you know I'm not ashamed of our business, if anything you know how proud I am of you and momma. However, I'll think about it. I promise. Just do me a favor and remember that this is my life, and if I want to be happy, I'm allowed to make my own choices."

Finally, my father relaxed against his chair -- happy with my answer.

"That's all I'm asking you to do darling, just give it some thought. Hell, talk it over with John and even Bill -- I know that they mean a great deal to you! Get their feedback on it," he suggested excitedly.

_Oh shit. John didn't tell him yet. That's probably a good thing though..._

"Yeah dad, about that... John and I broke up a few days ago." 

He scoffed as he shook his head, and looked me in the eye.

"I'm just now hearing about this? Why?" 

Silently, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"I wasn't happy with him; to be honest I was quite miserable actually. We fought, over stupid bullshit, all the time. He and I were getting unhealthy towards each other, so I ended it. I'm sorry, I know you liked him but he was making me upset on a daily basis and I refuse to live like that." 

My father peered into my eyes, as he released a sigh of his own.

"I only liked the fact that he was so driven to succeed; other than that, I thought you could do better baby girl. I'm just happy you're finally in a place where you can see that now," he quietly admitted.

I sat there, taken aback by his admission.

_Well I certainly wasn't expecting that so easily._

John and my father seemed to have gotten along perfectly over the past couple of years; clearly I had been wrong in assuming that my dad liked him. Apparently he just wanted to keep the peace  _with me,_  which was a big difference to be honest.

"Why didn't you tell me that? I thought you adored him! It's one of the reasons I held onto him for so long -- because I thought I would disappoint you!"

He stood up once again, and came around toward the front of his desk to clasp my hands tightly within his own.

"Y/N, please don't ever stay with someone -- just to make me or your mother happy. In the end, it's not us living your life... It's  _you._  If he doesn't make you happy, then he doesn't make you happy."

I found highly  _ironic_  that he could see this when it came to my personal life, yet when it came to my professional life -- of course my dad thought he knew best.

"Thank you for understanding." 

Gently, he placed a kiss upon my forehead and moved over to allow me to stand up.

"I'm glad that Toronto was a good experience for you. Like I said, talk to Bill about the idea. You may be surprised to see how supportive he may be. Bill cares about you a great deal; and it's not surprising given just how close you two have become over the past few years. He's a good friend to you Y/N. While he may be reluctant to let you go, I know he'll be happy with the idea of you getting a chance to move up as well."

"Thanks daddy. I'll see you and momma tomorrow evening." 

"Ahh yes! Of course. Your mother says she can't wait to see you and she's going to make your favorite dish in order to welcome you home," he laughed, while he enveloped me into a tight hug. 

"Alright, I'll be over tomorrow then. You're sending a car or should I catch a cab?"

"I'll send a car to pick you up by 4:30. Enjoy the rest of your time off and catch up on your sleep -- you look tired as hell." 

_Oh if you only knew..._

"Will do. Bye dad."

And with that, I made my way out of his office and back home. I had a lot to think about over the next few days; but most importantly -- I needed to figure out what my future held and I was suddenly worried about how Bill may take the news of this new opportunity...

* * *

**Stockholm, Sweden --**

A beautiful raven haired, pale skinned petite woman wondered around near the baggage claim; biting her nails and waiting for someone very important to her -- to finally arrive. Natalia Holm was  _almost certain_  that she was about to wear a hole through the cheap grey carpet, due to her continuous back and forth pacing, but she couldn't help herself. She would  _finally_  be reunited with Bill, who was due to come strolling through the airport terminal at any moment, and she was  _nervous_  about seeing him again for the first time in over three and a half months. Something was  _off_  though, and she could feel it deep within the pit of her stomach. Bill hadn't been acting the same over the past couple of weeks -- and it had only gotten worse over the past few days.

"Natalia snälla sluta," her mother Monica called out, trying to get her daughter to cease her incessant worrying.

"Mamma, lyssna, jag kan inte rå för det."

At this point, her mother had had enough with Natalia's constant public displays of anxiety.

"Han är här snart, vad är du så orolig för? Är allt okej?" Her mother's questions acted as if a bucket of pure ice water had been splashed over her face; waking her up to fact that she was being outwardly obvious with her concern.

"Sorry mom," Natalia sighed, as she sat down in one of the hard plastic chairs nearby and continued to wait. People passed by her in a blur; there was non-stop chatter of people happily being reunited with their loved ones, and others just grabbing their luggage off the conveyor belt while going on about their business. Yet for Natalia, it was  _different._  She felt as if she were losing control within the situation she now found herself in, and it _wasn't_ a welcomed feeling. That's why she had privately hired someone to look in on a few things for her, hoping that she was just going crazy and that it may put her mind at ease. 

When she thought of Bill, she saw a future with him; one that she would eventually be happy in. Her mother had also warned her that because he was quite the catch, that it was getting towards that time to start locking him down. But lately it felt as if he were pulling away from her, and she wasn't too sure about why, nor was she even sure that she was too keen to find out. For a while, Natalia had basically dictate the course of their relationship, but before he left for filming -- Bill had become increasingly more hands on and started setting new boundaries. She had a feeling that it may have to do with was lingering feelings he had towards a certain woman, but she couldn't be completely sure about that either. Either way it went though, she knew one thing: when he told her that he wanted to hold off on the idea of house hunting recently, something had shifted within their relationship; and she had a distinct feeling that it wouldn't end in her favor unless she came up with a solution -- and fast.

It was low sounding alert noise that erupted from her iPhone that shook her out of her momentary ravine. A text message from a private contact had arrived, and Natalia found herself sitting on the edge of her seat with baited breath. She had been waiting for news for the past week from this person, and she was finally getting something.

_Check your email, there's information you'll want to see. Call me once you've had a chance to review it._

Perplexed, Natalia got ready to pull up her email app before her mother stopped her.

"He's here," she hurriedly whispered towards her daughter, as Natalia looked up towards the escalator that was bringing Bill closer towards her.

With the email forgotten, she shut off her iPhone and stood up beaming her uncontrollable happiness at finally seeing him once again; while making her way over towards him. Even though she could tell that he was tired, he still looked effortlessly amazing and she shifted her way towards the bottom of the movable staircase. Bill however, was distracted by something on his phone. Whatever it was, must have been some type of good news because he had a goofy smile firmly planted upon his face as he typed out a response.

His smile though, faded the second he looked up from his phone and saw Natalia waiting for him.

It was a  _peculiar_  moment, one that Natalia didn't miss for a second. Bill had been changing in his reaction towards her lately, and this only confirmed her already out of control anxiety.

As she mentally shook off the feeling, Natalia replaced the smile back onto her face as she took another step near the escalator after he descended.

"Välkommen hem min kärlek," she greeted him, holding her arms open for his embrace.

Bill gave her a small smile as he returned the gesture in kind and returned her hug.

"Hey Natalia," he greeted her softly, as she held him tightly and smelled the familiar scent of his cologne. Without warning, she stood on her tippy toes, as she placed a chaste kiss upon his cheek.

"I've missed you," she told him tenderly, hoping that he would appreciate that she was waiting for him.

"I know; but also we need to tal-" However Bill was cut off, by Natalia's mother making her way towards the couple.

"Bill, min son!"

Ever the astute and pleasant partner, Bill placed a smile on his face as he returned her warm welcome.

"Monica, jag har saknat dig," he responded as he hugged Natalia's mother tightly.

"I've missed you too son. Listen, my husband has prepared a dinner back at our house for all of us. So let's get your bags and get you back to the country house!"

"That's perfect; a home cooked meal sounds wonderful right about now. Let me get my bags, and I'll meet you at the exit?" He suggested lightly, hoping to get a few moments to himself.

"No problem, I'll be outside waiting in the car. Natalia will show you where I'm parked. It's  _so good_  to have you back home again," she exclaimed excitedly as she squeezed his arm, and finally left from the airport.

Bill couldn't help the pang of guilt that shot straight through his chest at her kind gesture.

Turning his attention back towards Natalia, he didn't even have a chance to say anything to her before she pulled him down for a surprising kiss.

Normally, Bill wasn't one for public displays of affection -- but his own guilt had started to catch up with him and therefore he found himself giving into her affectionate nature.

"I love whenever you come back home; I've missed you _so_  much," she whispered lightly, while her arms locked around his shoulders.

Reluctantly, Bill found himself wrapping his arms around her midsection; almost as if he were reminding himself that he still hadn't talked with her yet. The truth was, he had  _no clue_  on how he would even bring the idea of a potential break up with her and he felt the onslaught of guilt beginning to consume him because of it. She had no idea that his feelings had changed yet, or that he wanted someone else because of it. Nor did she know that he had wanted Y/N for a while now... Closing his eyes tightly, he realized he would have to go about this  _carefully._  In the end, someone was going to get hurt -- no matter what happened; this would ultimately come down to him to how he handled things from here on out.

"I've missed you too Nat," he sighed tenderly into her hair, while he surrender himself into her embrace.

A few moments later, they released each other and he stepped to the side of her in order to gather his bags from the conveyor belt. Once they had departed the airport, they walked hand in hand towards her mother's Volvo. His guilt didn't subside one bit, as he felt her snuggle into his side in the backseat and fall asleep on his shoulder while they rode peacefully towards her parents home in the country side.

* * *

"Home sweet home; thanks for allowing my parents to welcome you home at their house. They were thrilled to see you again baby," Natalia said lovingly, as she helped Bill get the last of his luggage into her two bedroom apartment.

"It's fine. I like your parents, they're good people."

He turned his attention towards the hallway and tugged one of his suitcases behind him. While he was settling back in, Natalia observed him from the doorway of their bedroom with a coy look firmly planted upon her face.

"Don't worry about putting away the laundry, I'll take care of it later for you. Right now, I just want to hold you."

Surprisingly, Bill had let her wrap her arms around his shoulders and pull him down for a breathtaking kiss. Under normal circumstances, this would have been nice -- and he was suddenly reminded of a time where this would have been a welcomed expression of desire from her. Now however, things had changed for him. Even though Natalia had no idea of his shift in feelings, feelings that had already been there for someone else entirely -- he still hadn't figured out a way to break the news to her just yet. It didn't help that things were complicated between them at the moment, it wasn't just their relationship -- but something else was hanging over his head as well.

Carefully, he pried himself out of her embrace, before he found himself looking down into her eyes and putting on his best poker face.

"Not tonight babe; I'm super tired right now. We'll spend time together tomorrow, I promise," he paused before taking a deep breath and shifting his gaze away. "We have a lot to talk about anyway."

Natalia on the other hand, felt that shiver of fear settle deep within the pit of her stomach.  _Something was wrong;_  and while she knew that -- she ultimately decided to table the idea of confronting him on it at the moment. It hadn't helped matters that they had been fighting right before he had arrived back home.

"I understand, I'll let you get caught up on unpacking then."

A moment later, she had turned and left the room -- closing the door behind her and finally leaving him alone with his all consuming thoughts.

An hour later, Bill had emerged from their bedroom to find Natalia playing on her laptop in her living room, with a glass of wine in her hands.

"Hey Nat, my little brother is coming by to pick me up. He's refusing to take no for an answer and wants to have a couple of drinks in order to catch up. I'll be back in a little bit, okay?"

Her expression was unreadable as she nodded her head, and watched him walk out the door without even uttering the words that  _he loved her_  or  _goodbye._  Once she returned her attention back towards her laptop, she remembered the text message that she had received at the airport earlier in the evening. As if on queue, that familiarized feeling of worry had started to settle in once again. 

She finally gave up trying to fight off the nagging feeling of uncertainty that was gnawing away at her, and logged into her email account.

Moments later, she found herself wishing that she could have been better prepared for what she was about to discover; but the truth was --  _nothing_  could have prepared her for what she saw next...

Anger boiled within her blood, as her eyes misted over with unshed tears.

This explained  _everything._

Her best friend had warned her against hiring a private investigator to tail Bill while he was in Toronto. She had warned her that nothing good could come from snooping on her own boyfriend; and that if she was  _so determined_  to find something bad -- that she couldn't complain about when she _finally_  managed to get it. But that knowledge alone, didn't make the pain any less real; and it certainly didn't make the cold harsh slap of reality -- sting any less.

Emotions and thoughts swirled rapidly in her head and heart, because right in front of her, were the images that she couldn't deny and they were taken earlier today:  _Bill kissing his assistant, Y/N, while they stood at the front door of the Toronto vacation house._

Natalia's hand shot out, in almost lighting speed, and swiped a glass vase full of colorful summertime flowers and a few picture frames off her of desk. Her rage, caused her to give out an anguished cry of pure agony as she slammed the lid of her laptop down, stood up from her desk and paced around her living room.

"That fucking bitch; I knew she was a liar!" 

Bill had told her she was crazy for saying that she was worried about him spending so much time with Y/N; but now it seemed she was  _right_  to feel that way all along. And as for Bill? He was more than just a liar, he was a cheating asshole who had made a complete _fool_ out of her.

Of course he had been acting distant; it all made sense now.

Amidst her passionate fury, she snatched her cell phone off of her desk and dialed up that same cell phone number that had texted her earlier in the day.

"Ace, it's Natalia. I got your email, what can you tell me?" 

Ace released a sigh as he fumbled around for something in the background.

"Your boyfriend and his assistant, went out to a night club together a few nights ago. Prior to that, they were pretty amiable towards each other. But that night, things seemed different. They left the club a few hours later in a rush, and went back to the vacation house. I tried to get as close as I could, but I couldn't see inside. However, the noises I heard... Well they explain the pictures I shot earlier this morning, before they left the house for good. I'm sorry Natalia, it seems something has recently happened between them, but I can't be completely sure of what other than what I captured on film."

Tears slipped down Natalia's cheeks as she absorbed the information like a sponge to water.

"So this seems to have started a few days ago?"

"Yes ma'am, it does." 

Her hand tightened into a fist as she stared up at the ceiling of her apartment, trying to reign in her fiery temper.

"Alright, I need something else from you too. Find out who her boyfriend is, and get me his contact information. Her name is Y/F/N Y/L/N. She works for  _The Frankford Talent Institute_  in New York. Find him, bring me his information and I'll double your fee." 

Ace confirmed her request and then hung up the phone.

As if the weight of the world came crashing down around her, Natalia collapsed on the floor and began to sob uncontrollably. Moments later though, her cries started to subside and dwindle down while she began to collect herself off of the floor. One thing was for certain -- she couldn't let Bill know that she knew just yet. If anything, it was imperative that she act as normal as possible.

Neither of their families had any idea yet, that the two of them had been  _engaged_  since before Bill left for Toronto -- and she had foolishly kept it quiet at  _his_  request.

Now, this was a fight to secure her relationship. She wasn't about to watch some half wit American bitch, swoop in and take everything she had worked so hard for.

Before it would all be said and done, Y/N and Bill both would rue the day they made a fool out of her. If anything...  _Natalia was going to ensure it._

* * *


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Musical Inspiration: Talking To Myself by: Linkin Park
> 
> [Author's Notes: As always, please ignore any typos, errors and so forth as I generally catch any that I miss – after publication. Therefore I'll fix them as time progresses.]

**New York City, New York --**

Each button, of his expensively grey colored and tailored Armani suit jacket, slid effortlessly through each buttonhole. The suit itself was pressed into sheer perfection. Once the task was complete, he gave himself one final glance over in the mirror -- internally approving of his own handiwork. His strong and defined, masculine looking jawline protruded proudly; giving the impression that he was a man that couldn't be fooled or trifled with. His ice blue eyes, looked as if they held untold secrets that anyone would be curious to discover. The grey blended well with the soft white fabric of his thin white button-up, dress shirt. While his mind had been otherwise preoccupied in the last several days, with a major issue that just so happened to be going on in his life, it was still  _no excuse_  to not look one's best when heading out the door --  _for any reason._  Finally deciding that he was particularly satisfied with the outcome of his look for the day ahead, he turned around and made his way out of his bathroom and walked down the stairs of his Upper East Side condominium that he resided in.

His massive apartment was a testament to his hard work and dedication to his career. All things, in his mind, had a place; and  _absolutely everything_  had a certain order. From the lusciously thick blackout curtains on the windows, that were pulled off to the side remotely every morning, if only to allow the sunlight to stream inside; all the way to the Keurig machine, that sat atop of a polished black marble countertop and was timed to prepare his coffee into a stainless steel travel mug every morning -- he had everything in his home down to an almost  _exact_  science. The coffee colored, bamboo wooden floor plans were wide open and more than generous; especially for it being located in the heart of New York City. It may have been a tad bit bothersome to be spending even more time at the firm than before, but being able to afford the wonderful luxuries that one could provide for themselves in life -- had been a much-needed perk he had become proud of producing for himself.

Extending his mildly tan, veiny and slightly large, muscular hand up towards his stainless steel key ring holder, he plucked his keys off the key hook -- next to his reinforced metal front door. Once he stepped outside into a brightly lit hallway, for a moment, he paused and pondered if he should take the stairs or the elevator. However, when he glanced down at his Rolex, a gift from the firm after he achieved junior partner status, it was only then that he noticed he was running a few moments  _behind schedule._  His features fell into a deep frown, as soon as he realized this. If there was anything he hated, it was being late.

_The elevator it is, then._

As soon as the double doors slid open, he noticed his beautiful platinum blonde neighbor from condo 12G -- step out and greet him with a charming and quaint little smile. He had seen around before, as her size six, curvy silhouette passed him by. She was wearing a gorgeous, form-fitting peach-colored business dress that was tailored to skilled perfection; and she topped it off with matching colored Louboutin platform pumps. Her makeup, while minimal was flawless and angelic.

"Good morning Monica; did you forget something again?"

It turned almost into a humorously delightful little game between them. Almost like clockwork, she could be counted upon to have forgotten something in her apartment. One morning, it was her coffee; another morning -- it was her project files that she needed to present to a client that same day.

Her sociable giggle sounded magnificent to his ears. "Don't I always? Have a good day, Mister Winthrop."

As she continued to walk away, he raked his eyes appreciatively down her backside. Her tenderly curled hair bounced with ease, as her plump hips swayed from side to side with ease. Monica's shapely legs, however, had turned into the body part that he found himself admiring the most on her.

Smirking to himself, he shook his head and stepped into the now open elevator -- pressing the button labeled "G" for the parking garage.

Monica didn't know it, but she was only one in a boundless string of beauties that had caught his attention in the past few months. Reluctantly though, he ignored the stirrings of intrigue and continued on his way. The light dinging of the bell inside the elevator, gave off a soft sound just as the doors opened up. Once he stepped into the dimly lit garage, he began to walk at a brisk pace towards his black, 2018 Porsche Cayman. The office was a good ten-minute drive away, and he needed to get there soon. He had a meeting with the senior partners at the firm this morning, and he had to show that he was prepared to handle an upcoming disposition on their behalf. Anything that didn't benefit him, this morning, had to take an absolute backseat. He truly couldn't afford the distractions.

Upon arrival at  _Smith & Goldstein Law Firm_, he parked in his newly acquired parking spot in the underground garage and proceeded into the building. The firm was located in the heart of downtown Manhattan, and it was one of the biggest firms within the city.  _Smith & Goldstein_ represented the rich and famous, along with the wealthiest elite. Yet, they also had community outreach programs as well; and the programs afforded them  _massive_  positive publicity -- along with a stellar reputation. When a good, obvious and  _winnable_  potential case showed up in the news, their interns were tasked with getting the families on board with the idea of letting their new attorney's to represent them. It was also a way for the senior partners to weed out the good lawyers, from the not so talented ones. If you lost one of the firm's "community outreach," pro bono cases --  _you were out._  No questions asked. The firm employed only the very best of the best. You not only had to the have top grades in your graduating class, but you also had to come from an approved list of ivy league law schools -- just to be able to get your foot into the door for an  _interview._  It was elite, and the competition was cut-throat; and while the senior partners would never openly admit that -- it was  _always_  heavily implied that you needed to be competitive.

_It was no wonder that he exceeded within the walls of this very firm._

As soon as he arrived on the twelfth floor, he was greeted by his assistant, Maria Soto. Young, vivacious and full of life, she was incredibly  _beautiful_  -- he'd give her that. It was one of the reasons why he picked her from a pool of other qualified candidates. With long, voluminous black hair that cascaded halfway down her back, perfectly tanned skin; gorgeous dark brown eyes and a slim, fit figure... She was certainly something  _marvelous_  to behold. At twenty-six years old, Maria had already served her country and was honorably discharged from the military. Her time in the service had made her an excellent and resourceful woman who got things done -- without hesitation. Not to mention, she was college educated and already working to save up enough money to start her own business. She was a woman full of motivation, and a firey New York attitude.

It also helped that she had a bit of a crush on him, and he only discovered that fact -- thanks to a  _slightly_  drunken one night stand that happened between them, just over a few months ago on a company retreat to Miami. Of course, he made itabsolutely and abundantlyclear that it could  _never_  happen again -- the following morning. Afterall, she was very familiar with the fact that he had a girlfriend at the time, waiting back at home for him. Maria, accepted his answer and even admitted that she had  _no designs_  of ruining her own career by sleeping with a junior firm partner. But it didn't exactly stop either of them from occasionally flirting with each other either.

Maria had come from a long line of strong, hard-working and proud Puerto Rican immigrants. She was familiar with what happened to women in her position, particularly with white men in positions of power, if she weren't careful. Without shame or false modesty, Maria was a hell of a lot smarter than most men took her for. Therefore, she would never openly risk losing her stellar income or job benefits for anyone, not even Mister Winthrop -- no matter  _how much_  of a good lay he was. She was working to save and open her own business one day; not get her reputation ruined over the seldom and occasional dick appointment.

"You're later than usual, Mister Winthrop." She greeted him warmly, with a small smile. In her hands, were the files he told her to have ready for him upon his arrival.

"I had a little trouble falling asleep last night, thanks to prepping for the meeting this morning. How are the partners doing?" He asked, while he continued through the small reception area and down the hall where his office was located. Maria took the hint and matched her stride confidently with his.

"Mister Goldstein's paralegal team is already set up in the meeting room, and of course, the partners are on their way as scheduled. Don't worry sir, you've got this."

If Maria was anything, she was the oil which kept his wheels turning in this place. She was the eyes, the ears and  _everything_  in-between. Without her, he wouldn't have been primed and ready to take on this case with the senior partners in the first place. It was only because of Maria, that he even had a shot at this -- at all. Their situation was simple, she kept him in the loop on all the secret interoffice workings within the building, thanks to her numerous friendships with the other assistants on staff -- and he made sure she was compensated generously; even allowing her time off for any kind of emergencies that came up. Thanks in large part, to her tending to a terminally ill parent, emergencies did tend to crop up from time to time; and instead of getting frustrated with her, he was patient and supportive of her needs. In return, Maria offered him loyalty like  _no other._  It was no wonder, that had she found herself attracted to him.

"Thanks Maria. Please be sure to screen my calls before the meeting, and give me the messages after I'm done. I want to concentrate on my presentation before I walk straight into the lion's den."

Nodding quickly, she left him to it as he started to get settled in behind his sleek and classy, modern office desk. His office wasn't too imposing nor was it big by any means; but still, it was spacious and he had made it into his own. He had a simply  _glorious_  backdrop of the city behind him, and most days, he liked to take a few moments to appreciate the view. If you would have told him several years ago that he would be working at one of the largest firms in New York -- he would have laughed. He hadn't exactly come from a wealthy family, but he worked hard and hoped for the best. It also helped that his now ex-girlfriend's family, had contacts that were able to pull a few strings and help to guide him straight into this company.

Sitting back in his high backed, black leather office chair, his mind began to reluctantly drift back to  _her._  He had done a good job of letting his anger push her from his mind over the past week -- yet as he sat there trying to keep his mind on his presentation, thoughts of her slowly started to invade his mind.

Something was  _off_  with her, particularly during their last conversation; but he couldn't quite put his finger on what  _it_  may have been.

He had hoped to be able to talk her into taking a less proactive career role, and instead, allowing him to provide support for both of them. Afterall, he could more than afford it now. Yet, she  _resisted_  him on the idea.  _Several times, actually._  He even thought about possibly relocating them to either Chicago or Los Angeles, especially since the firm had offices out in those locations --  _but yet again,_  she adamantly refused him.

Granted, he knew he had not been completely forthcoming or transparent in his reasons to her, especially on  _why,_  but truth be told --  _he_   _couldn't._  A woman like her? She had options outside of him, and  _he knew it._  If she ever uncovered the real reasons why he wanted to leave, she would never forgive him...

_No. That's not going to happen, and besides -- it's utterly useless now._

Then there was  _him._  The one that held her attention more than anyone else  _ever_  could; and perhaps more than was even fucking necessary. He took up a mass majority of her time, and to some degree -- he found himself wondering if it was intentional. Mister Winthrop wasn't a fool by any means, and he saw it in the other man's eyes the very first time he ever met  _him._  He saw the light in his eyes, and how he would try to conceal it from her, whenever she grabbed his full attention -- without even trying.

His temperature started to rise, as his anger bloomed to life within his broad and expansive chest. Deep inside, he could feel his heart rate begin to pick up speed, while his left hand clenched into a tightly balled-up fist.

His thoughts were soon interrupted by a meek knocking sound at his door. Immediately snapping himself back into the present moment, and away from his intrusive thoughts, Maria gingerly popped her head inside, "they're ready for you sir."

Nodding his head, he stood back up and gathered his files. It was now or never, and he sure as hell wasn't about to let his ex-girlfriend, and her determination to shove him to the side -- fuck up this once in a lifetime opportunity for him. She was an  _afterthought_  now...

"Let's go."

* * *

 

**Stockholm, Sweden --**

Bill Skarsgard had no idea yet, but his girlfriend Natalia had a plan of epic proportions, up her sleeve -- and it wouldn't bode well for him. In her opinion, the easiest way to get to someone's heart, was always through  _their mind._  It had been just about a week since he had returned home, and she had discovered the truth about his  _little indiscretion_ ; yet she never said a word -- not one  _peep._

Natalia Holm had behaved as normally as possible, believing that if she didn't let anything slip, then an argument wouldn't break out at the moment. She had adamantly  _refused_  to give Bill any excuses to walk out and potentially terminate their engagement. In fact, she even went out of her way to make sure that Bill had the things he wanted or needed, along with  _plenty_  of space. It wasn't that she was acting distant either, by giving him said space; instead she just freely allowed him to come and go as he pleased.

However, during this time she noticed quite a few changes in him. Most notably, his more quiet and elusive behavior as of late. He also seemed more  _aloof_  as well. Normally by nature, Bill was a quiet man who enjoyed his solitude whenever he arrived back home after wrapping up a film project. If anything, it always gave him a chance to unwind and come down from the roles he had to play. And if the roles were larger and darker in nature, he welcomed the reprieve and solitude that only being back home in Sweden, with his family and friends -- could offer him. Although this time, it was different. He wasn't just quiet... He seemed to be more  _withdrawn._

She wasn't an idiot; far from it, really. Whenever something was wrong, she shamelessly trusted her own intuition. Her first order of business was already  _well_  underway, and even though she was profoundly wounded inside -- she was still determined to see this entire situation through.

As she stood at her kitchen counter, she had a perfect view of the dinner table that sat several feet in front of her. In her mind, she could see the very first moments she ever sat there and shared Chinese takeout with Bill.  _Her head fell back with ease, as she leaned back in her chair and laughed at one of his quirky little jokes._  To say she was smitten by his charm, would have been an understatement. They were supposed to have gone out for dinner earlier that evening, but she had been running late from being stuck on set all day. Natalia's photoshoot had run later than expected, thanks to the terrible snowstorms that had swept through the area that entire week; and instead of getting aggravated, Bill ultimately surprised her by showing up to her door -- with four big bags of Chinese food in tow.

_"I didn't know what you might like, so I ordered a little bit of everything they had on their menu."_

She was certainly astonished by his sweet gesture as she smiled, moved over and ushered him inside of her apartment.

They had met a couple of weeks prior, at a holiday party that a mutual friend was throwing, and at the time -- she thought he was  _gorgeous._  Natalia had spent the entire evening subtly sneaking glances over in his direction, or so she thought. But she wasn't alone in her little game, because Bill had noticed her too and finally, thanks to a few cocktails in her system and a friend's encouragement --  _she made her move._

It was two weeks later, that they suddenly found themselves seated at the dining room table in Natalia's apartment and enjoying good food, along with an exquisite red wine -- that she had been gifted by her parents several months prior, as a small housewarming gift.

The longer she stood there, the clearer the memories replayed in her head. She could almost smell the  _fruity_  fragrance of the wine, as she swirled it around in her clear wine glass. His low chuckle had caught not just her attention, but her breath -- right inside of her throat. Almost as soon as she looked up and captured his eye, Natalia couldn't help but notice the way the candlelight, from the numerous candles they lit up together before sitting down to eat, had danced and glimmered across his sharply contrasting facial features.

_He is so unbelievably perfect..._

Suddenly scooting closer to her chair, she felt her body temperature rise as he gently leaned over and smiled graciously at her. It was only when she felt the thumb on his right hand, brush tenderly against the corner of her lips, that she realized what was going on.

_"You had a piece of rice on your lip," he stated quietly, while he noticed a deep crimson colored blush creep across her cheeks._

_"Oh um... Thank you," it was her mumbled and slightly embarrassed response, that caused him to release a minuscule laugh._

_"You're fine, I get it. You had a long day on set, and you probably had very limited breaks. I do the same thing sometimes."_  

Natalia's eyes glistened with unshed tears, as the memory continued to unfold for her. Her head turned slightly over to her front door, as she watched them make their way over towards it.

_"You don't have to, you know." She stated hesitantly, unsure of why she was even trying to present such an offer to him._

_He stopped in his tracks, turning around to face her -- just as he had reached for the door handle to let himself out. "Don't have to do what?"_

_Natalia had momentarily lost her grip on her wavering confidence, as her eyes fell to the floor and she simply shook her head at him. "Nevermind, don't worry about it."_

_Standing up straighter than before, Bill cocked his head to the side and peered down at her critically._

_"Natalia, what's wrong? You know can tell me, don't you?"_

_Before she could think twice and lose her nerve again, she glanced back up at him and whispered, "you don't have to leave tonight; you can stay if you want."_

_His bright, green eyes sparkled with surprise and wonder, as he allowed her offer to sink in more clearly._

_"Are you sure?" His breathless whisper came as a surprise, even to him; as he stepped closer to her slightly smaller frame and tenderly cupped her chin -- bringing her full focus and attention, directly upon him._

_Natalia released a shaky breath and subconsciously licked her lips, "I'm sure."_

Deep down inside, she knew that a lot of this plan was driven by anger and with more than a touch of  _humiliation._  Ultimately, a person's pride could only take so much, before that person  _demanded_  their respect back; and Natalia was suddenly in the position where she understood that if she didn't demand her respect from Bill -- then he  _may never_  give it to her at all.

However, it didn't stop the raw emotional pain she felt deep in her heart. She felt gutted, confused; and more than a little torn.

_What am I truly fighting for?_

It was a question she seemed to be asking herself a lot these days; the truth was --  _the answers varied a great deal._  Of course, she loved Bill, and she couldn't just suddenly make those feelings go away... No matter how much she  _probably_  should have tried. Natalia knew that in most cases of infidelity, the most obvious thing to do would have been to end the engagement and quietly disengage herself out of Bill's life. After all,  _did he truly even deserve her after committing such a violation against her; and against her love and trust?_

But then the moments of pain, would seep in and wage war against her heart and mind. In her heart, she still wanted Bill -- the man she fell in love with. In her mind though, Natalia was an absolute  _mess_  of systematic and mass confusion. She was torn between her anger towards Bill for stringing her along, because when she thought about it in hindsight -- she had certainly  _noticed_  that his friendship with Y/N seemed to go a little deeper for him than he had previously let on. Then there was her  _ego_  that was involved; Bill was quite the catch and everyone around her had made sure she knew it --  _on a daily basis._  Did she really want some privileged and spoiled American, who probably had everything handed to her on a silver plater, to take what she had worked so hard for?

It was those feelings, which then gave way into her feelings of  _foolishness._  Natalia had warned Bill ages ago, to drop Y/N as an assistant and pick another one. If anything was a sign of things to come, however, it should have been his scathing reaction to her suggestion...

Yet, in the end, it was her pride that demanded that she finish this little affair of his,  _for him_ , once and for all.

Alas, it was her ringing phone that suddenly offered her a momentary reprieve, thanks to snapping her out of her emotionally cloudy trip down memory lane -- while she picked it up and looked at her caller ID. It was her private investigator Ace, trying to get through.

Upon drying her eyes with her finger, she pressed the answer on her screen, "what have you found for me, Ace?"

* * *

 

 **New York City, New York --**  

Slumping back against his office chair, Mister Winthrop sat back in utter  _disbelief._

He had just been given the  _biggest opportunity_  of his career, and to be honest, he wasn't quite sure it had sunken in just yet. All of those days and nights of being a lowly intern, that everyone else had treated like absolute shit? _Worth it._  Every single one of those countless hours he spent, working his way into Junior Partner status?  _Definitely worth it._  For him, everything that had taken place thus far in his young career had been building towards this moment. In the end, it was all worth it because he had finally just landed the  _momentous opportunity_  to work on a case with one of the senior partners --  _of the entire firm._

His sizable hands shook, as they ran over his face, trying to push away the purely uninhibited  _awe_  he felt. However, it became more than apparent that he was wrapped up in his own little world, because he didn't even hear Maria as she buzzed him -- nor did he hear her as she knocked on his very door.

"Mister Winthrop?" She called out cautiously, hoping to grab his attention. He hated being interrupted, yet this couldn't wait.

But like a lump on a log, he continued to sit there at his desk in stony-faced silence. Finally realizing that he was just still in immediate shock at scoring the opportunity of his career, she couldn't help rolling her eyes at his slightly over-dramatic nature.

_"John!"_

It was the use of his first name, something Maria rarely ever did in the office, that brought him crashing back into reality.

Clearing his throat, he abruptly perked up, "I'm sorry! What is it, Maria?" 

She looked at him skeptically, as she nodded over towards the phone on his desk, "You have a call from a Miss Natalia Holm, on line one. She says she got your number from your girlfriend. I thought you said Y/N broke up with you last week?"

Her curious announcement though, had certainly caught his attention.

 _"She did."_  He paused, perplexed by the news that Y/N had really recommended someone to him, before continuing, "if that will be all... Thank you, Maria."

As soon as Maria stepped out and closed the door behind her, John immediately picked up the receiver to his standard-issue, office phone.

"Hello, this is Mister Winthrop speaking. How may I help you, Miss Holm?"

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extended Authors Notes:
> 
> Woooo-wee! We’ve just met John, and now we’ve gotten a tiny peek into “Step One,” of Natalia’s revenge plot -- along with her complicated emotional state. *Rubs hands together evilly* I cannot wait until we get to the confrontation lol. But don’t worry, we still have a little ways to go before then.
> 
> First and foremost, since the last time I have updated this piece on AO3 -- this story has since won two fan-made awards, on Wattpad! In June of 2018, The Assistant won Best Thriller in the 2018 Winsome Awards. And as of today, July 13, 2018 -- she also won Best Fanfiction in the 2018 Black Ink Awards! So a big thank you, to everyone who reads this story, votes on it and continues to leave messages.
> 
> Okay lovelies, now that that announcement is out of the way, I wanted to give you a peek into the face claims I’m using for both John & Natalia!
> 
> Natalia Holm has the face claim of Ksenia Solo! [Small FYI: Kesnia is a phenomenal actress! Plus, she and I share the same birthday. Libra’s kick ass lol.]
> 
> Then... there was John Winthrop lol. Now he may not be a complete looker like our Bill, but he has his own strange charm. And I’m okay with that! This actor, whom I have chosen as his face claim, has a special place in my ice cold heart (and I promise you, like 99% of you aren’t even gonna know who this obscure actor is lol). Why? Well, that’s because I’ve met some of the best people I could have been blessed to meet, on this website, through joining a fandom that involved some of his work. @greenofallshades my darling, I promised I would deliver for you and I did lol.
> 
> To meet Samuel Roukin, the face claim to our Mr. John Winthrop, be sure to go look him up. He's an amazing actor, with a talent that's raw, real and just all around -- outstanding. Honestly, I miss seeing his projects and I hope that he'll get more serious about acting again in the future.


End file.
